Any Other Way

PARADISE

White peonies. Rented cabin. Variety of make-ups. Silk.

Hindi ko alam kung anong meron at pati na rin ang panahon ay naka-ayon sa mangyayari ngayon. Sa totoo lang akala ko iba ang aura sa lugar na 'to kumpara sa mga baryo sa Pilipinas. Nagkamali ako.

"Ma'am Hartvigsen?"

Ibinababa ko agad ang cellphone ko nang kinalabit ako ng kasama kong kumukuha rin ng litrato.

Dumeretso ako sa may kataasang upuan. Medyo nasilaw ako sa liwanag na nanggagaling sa bulb ng salamin. Buti nalang kailangan kong pumikit para make-up'n ako.

Mukhang sineryoso nga ni Giv na kailangang perfect ang mangyayari ngayon.

"Ano pong sumagi sa isip niyo no'ng marinig niyo ang kasal?"

"Sinong nagkwento sa iyo?" usisa ko.

"Si sir Hunter po. Siya po ang nag-ungkat ng usapan ma'am."

Talagang hindi niya pinapalampas ang pang-aasar niya sa akin dahil lang sa paglapit ko sa kanya noon. Hanggang ngayon mukhang utang na loob ko pa rin sa kanya.

I don't have a choice at that point. I know Synkarl will track me down through Soren. So I went with one of Harelle's close friends.

Gael.

"I'm fine with it; I just want it to end as soon as possible because I'm not that excited."

It's true. Wearing a white gown. Carrying a bouquet and walking down the aisle reminds me of Hunter and Amalia's wedding which is not a memorable event for me. I can't get my mind off about my brother kneeling and crying that day.

Why do we need to hold a wedding when it is easier to go to a court or municipal, sign the marriage contract, and marry with few trusted witness?

No need for a luxurious wedding.

The expenses are probably equal to my one-year salary as a nurse.

I'm not sure why even Soren is convinced that they must get ready and make this day memorable.

"You're done ma'am."

I look myself in the mirror. He did a good job highlighting my features. My complexion look so good.

This is Shaveena.

"I don't like it." my eyes drawn to the make-up artist. "Parang bumata ako."

I can see the make-up artist beside us stopped and look at us. Bigla ring tumahimik sa loob. Tuliro ang iba, ang iba nama'y nakipagusap sa katabi nila.

I closed my eyes, again.

"Pero ma'am? Compliment na po 'yun kung napabata ko ang looks niyo! Tignan niyo po uli -"

"Just do what she said. Please, Nicole."

I know who he is. But for some reason, I don't want to talk to anyone today. Even him.

"Gusto po ni ma'am gumamit ng dark shadows sir kahit na kasal ang dadaluhan niyo po?"

"Nicole? Just do what my woman suggests."

Naramdaman ko agad ang pinahid niyang make-up remover. Buti naman nakaramdam siya. Ayaw ko ngang bumata, may problema ba do'n?

I don't even wear make-up nowadays. It irritated me to see myself in full glam.

Things I used to enjoy became a torturous wake-up call.

Light make-up. Full on glams. Pretty little Shaveena doll is gone. So is his husband. Young Shaveena is a phase I don't want to go through again.

Just catching a glimpse hurts; how much more will it hurt if I talk to him again?

So, not all people embraces youth. I was once naive and let my youth control my future. It ended terribly.

"Sha? The wedding will start soon?" Synkarl said. "You should get ready."

"Just apply a foundation and concealer." I whispered to stop the make-up artist from applying an eyeliner.

"Nakapalit ka na at tapos na ang shoot niyo?" usisa ko.

"I dashed here to wait for you. Let us walk down the aisle together."

"Soren will be mad."

"I already ask for permission, Amor. Mas maraming sermon kaysa sa pag-approve but it's fine. Nasanay na ako sa tuwing bumibisita siya sa bahay natin."

"Bahay mo." I explained.

"Ang sa akin ay sa iyo rin. Huwag na nating pagtalunan ang mga materyal na bagay. Napapalitan 'yan."

Tumigil siya nang bumababa ako sa upuan. Dumeretso agad ako sa tabi niya at inakbayan siya.

"Ikaw ang hindi dapat mawala at mapalitan."

My eyes burn. "Thank for accepting me Synkarl."

"Ako nga ang dapat mapasalamat. Bumalik ka ulit." He said and plant a kiss in my forehead. "A blessing that will always put a smile on my face."

"How about your projects? I know, I said that this will be a short wedding but I am afraid when your secretary called." I said.

Ngumiti ulit siya at ikinulong ako sa isang mahigpit na yakap.

"My blessing first, my projects follows."