Ramblings of a Madman

And Your Answer Is..?

The door is in front of me. Behind it, the answer I awaited that drove me to madness. Soon I will no longer be suffering from hanahaki, and the rose petals will have been blown away. I have done my best to be patient, yet now that the moment is here I find myself struggling. I struggle with the knowledge that I cannot fully experience you through the phone.

But through this experience, I got to look through the windows of the person I called home. Rejection taunted me at every entrance, trying to impose itself within. Still, I wanted to see more. I wanted to hear the music of your heart and enjoy the melody that made me desire you in the first place, even if it only lasted a little while.

I've been putting together your words and actions, trying to figure out the puzzle you'd created. Racking my brain to interpret the painting you had drawn out for me. Though, I suppose it is not entirely your doing, half of it being my own creation. Alas, I've thought myself in circles, rotting my brain, and stretching a month to feel like years.

Poetry has been written in your name, an act I never thought would come. But these writings were an act to preserve my own hope. To immortalize my dreams even if they should slip between my fingers. Even as a way to remember the first time I felt jealous, despite the bitter taste it leaves.

All these things seem so insignificant by comparison when my eyes catch yours. The way that you look at me differently than the rest. Piercing through me, softly, yet knowing, in a way that feels like I can be honest around you. Encouraging me to place my heart in your hands, and assuring me that you'll be gentle.

When you told me that night that your answer might not be what I expected, I wasn't able to understand at the time. Slowly, it all came together, and my mind went blank. I couldn't trust my own mind, so I created distance between us. However, time and time again, you'd pull me back in.

You'd call for me to come back. To share a sense of intimacy with you that I was afraid I'd never have. But now we've reached the end of this chapter, and it's time to open the door. Now, I'm a step away from hearing your reply. The anticipation that had been built up for a month came crashing down as you answer the question that had been caught in my throat for so long. The question being, "Will you go on a date with me?"

And your answer is..?

Yes.