[𝐍𝐂𝐓]

[3]

「-𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚃𝚊𝚎𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚐
𝟬𝟵.𝟭𝟭.𝟮𝟬」

No longer feeling the warmth of his arms, you continued to hug him tighter still. He didn't tell you anything, letting you do it. You were trying to smell the smell that you liked so much but it seems that you forgot it. How could you forget him ? Even if you had stopped your love story you were still in love with him.

You tried to remember frowning as you hugged him tighter. He still said nothing. Suffocating him, crumpling his clothes, you couldn't hug him any more than you already did.

You wanted to show him the affection you had for him. Smile at him, say words of love to him. You let go of your hug and held his white t-shirt tightly as you tried to look into his eyes. They were closed.

You shook him, trying to wake him up to see his pupils resting on your figure again. He didn't answer. You thought then that you had forgotten the softness of his eyes but you could not forget this man.

He lived in your dreams and he was a dream. He just couldn't answer you but you didn't care, you were hurt. You shot yourself in the foot by breaking up with him on a whim.

Now that you were needing him, it was impossible to go back but above all, the hardest part was the feeling of having forgotten. You could no longer dream of this lifeless carcass that he had become in your most entrenched memories.

You missed his smile, his smell, his comfort, his warmth. You missed him.

You were sweating in your bed, getting upset on your own. Moving around in panic. You couldn't have forgotten.

You punched him, begging him to respond to the sound of your voice saying his name but he still didn't move. In fact, he couldn't move. You had almost forgotten who he was in 2 years and in that dream you couldn't remember what he looked like or what his voice sounded like in your ears. However you hadn't forgotten that you loved him.

You couldn't wake up from this dream. Your brain showing you what you had done on repeat. Showing you how wrong you had done everything by leaving him.

The bed in which you were lying suddenly disappeared under your feet causing you to fall into the infinite void. You saw him, Taeyong, fall and get sucked into the darkness that was your memories and you cursed yourself.

Seeing him disappear gave you immense grief and then came the misty fog that looked like you. You couldn't see anything and started to cry.

You were falling without being able to stop. A force seizing your stomach made you feel dizzy and then gradually the urge to vomit. Trying to hold on to anything but there was nothing left, only you in the middle of this nonsense and this bitter mixture of emptiness and loneliness.

But you suddenly woke up in your bed, feeling this one and your warm sheets under your feet. The bed was a disaster of how much you had moved this night.

Bringing your hands to your face, you began to cry a second time, loneliness cradling you gently in its arms.

It was a nightmare and it seemed like an eternity to you, it was such agony. You thought about him, Taeyong, wondering if he too was suffering on his side. You didn't want him to suffer, you just didn't want to feel this alone.

You grabbed your phone abruptly and opened Taeyong's contact.

You didn't delete his number "just in case" you thought. You were adjuring deep inside yourself that he didn't change his phone and number.

You dialed the numbers and waited for him to pick up. The beep to leave a message was quickly heard and given the time it was, it was normal that he did not answer.

You spoke in a hesitant voice, especially trying not to sniff:

"-Hey, it's me. I know I asked to cut ties but I'm stupid listen. I need you. I miss you and it's been destroying me every day for two years not having you anymore next to me. I-"

The beep cut you off in your sentence but in your momentum, you called back. You wanted him to hear what you had to say to him firmly.

"-I know I look desperate remembering you and continuing my monologue but I don't even know why I'm so attached to you. Since you left, I don't really know what to do-"

A second time.

"-I don't know what else to say. I'm so scared I'll never see you again so please can we see each other again?"

Then a third time and it was the last. You threw your phone on the floor crying one last time. You felt shabby, like a nobody to have messed up his answering machine so much for things that you were surely going to regret the next day.

But you did not know that he too was at the same point.

「END」

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-"849 words"
ᴜɴᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ