SuperPotter 3

Chapter 13 Ghostfacers

There is an interference on screen only to switch to Harry Spengler and Ed Zeddmore sitting in easy chairs in front of a fireplace, dressed in formal wear and holding brandy glasses.

'Hello, I am Harry Spengler,' Harry introduces himself.

'And I am Ed Zeddmore. Now if you have received this tape, you must be some sort of bigwig network executive. Well, today is your lucky day, mister,'

'Because the unsolicited pilot you are about to watch is the bold new future of ''reality TV'','

'Mmmm. We know you've had it hard during the crippling writer's strike,'

'Lazy fat cats,'

'Who needs writer when you've got guys like us?' Ed asks to the camera. Harry gestures and reaches for...a cheap dimmer switch. 'Our team faced horrible horrors to bring you the footage that will change your world forever. So strap in for the scariest hour in the history of television,'
'In the history of your life...'

'Strap in for...'

'Ghostfacers!' Harry and Ed say together. Ghostfacers theme song and opening montage, showing the characters and names: Ed, Harry, Spruce, Maggie, Corbett, Sam, Dean and Hermione.

'Ghost...Ghostfacers. We face the ghost when the others will not. We're Ghost...Ghostfacers. Stay in the kitchen when the kitchen gets hot. Ghost...Ghostfacers. We face the nightmare, we face the dread. Ghost...Ghostfacers. We face the faces, we face the dead! When you trip and fall into the supernatural, we're who you're gonna call. We face them all! Ghost...Ghostfacers. We face the faces, we face the dead! We're Ghost...Ghostfacers!'

Harry and Ed exit an AMC Gremlin with Wisconsin license place, each carrying a metal briefcase with a Ghostfacers sticker.

'You know it can get kind of hard balancing our daytime careers with our nighttime missions,' Ed speaks through a voice over.

'Yeah, but Ed and I pretty much call the shots at the Kinko's where we work, so we can usually pretty much get off by six every night,' Harry responds also with a voice over.

'Yeah, six o'clock. It used to to be just, you know, you and I taking on the cases—just Harry and me,' Ed speaks.

'Two lone wolves,'

'And two lone wolves need, uh...other wolves,'

There is a title card with ''Phase 1: Homework''.
'Morning, 'facers,' Ed says as he walks into the ''office''.

'Good morning, Ghostfacers,' Harry adds.

'It's seven p.m, dude,' Spruce points out.

'It's morning to a Ghostfacer. Corbett, what do we got, buddy?' Harry asks.

'Oh, I'm just putting up some of the—'

'Yeah, this has got to go up here. That's got to go here. Got to see the whole field. Markers, eraser—good job,' Ed continues as he points to the whiteboard.

'I first saw Ed putting up flyers down at the—the outlet mall in Scogan, so I-I read one, and I thought to myself, ''huh. Where do ghost come from?'' And now here I am,' Corbett says into the camera.

'Ed, your sister is abusing staff,' Harry points out as Maggie hits him.

'That's adopted sister, thank you very much,' Ed responds.

'Ed has been obsessed with the supernatural since we were kids, you know, and then he meets Harry at computer camp...and love at first geek,' Maggie explains into the camera.

'Spruce here. What up, playaaa?' Spruce says as he turns the camera towards him.

Spruce is riding a ball cart on the driving range.
'I am 15/16 Jew, 1/16 Cherokee. My grandfather is mohel, my great-grandfather was a tallis maker, and my great-great-grandfather was a degenerate gambler and had a peyote addiction,'