Remember Me

Chapter 41

Lily's POV:

"This is nice" Ashley moaned softly while I rubbed her hair. She was laying on top of me with her soft naked body against mine.

"Mhm" i kissed her head as she was just waking up. She hugged me tighter as i wished we could stay like this forever.

"It's nice not having the sounds of crying children asking when Santa Claus is coming home" she murmured and I couldn't help but laugh.

"What do you mean? Santa Claus is real. In fact when I was a child I used to ask for 3 stars to be planted on the sky and on one Christmas morning. Three stars were shown in the sky"

"Your lying" She shrugs my arm, and I felt a sharp pain from it. I control my breathing and hold onto her more. "Im not, Santa is in-fact real and you seem to be in his naughty list"

I see her smile as she gets on top of me. She covers the blanket around us and whispered in my ear. "Im i going to get punished?"

"I don't know, are you naughty?" I move my hand around her waist and grip onto it. She moves a string of her hair behind her ear and leans in.

I feel myself smile as she brings her lips onto mine. Her soft lips moved with mine in sync.

She moves her hands around my neck making me move up as she sits down on my lap and wraps her legs around me cradling me.

She inserts her tongue into mine as I felt myself getting hot. I move my hand onto her ass caressing it as she moaned onto my eye.

I begin to suck onto her neck. She moans as her hand grips onto my hair. I begin to hear a call from my phone as she continues to kiss me.

The phone continues to ring and I had no other option but to answer it. I look to see that it's Felecia. "You should answer it" Ashley said as she got off me. "Are you sure?"

She seemed upset and I was going to end the call until she said "yeah she was.. your date"

She still upset about that. "You have my heart not her" I touch her hand and she bites her cheek. "She doesn't know that though"

She's right and that's why I'm going to tell her. I hope she would understand. I grab into the phone and get off the bed. I head to the bathroom and close the door.

I answer the phone and Dr. Fredrick junior speaks. "Hey how are you feeling?" And I feel myself wanting me to cough.

I turn on the tap and grab into a tissue as I begin to cough. I see small clots of blood and I feel anger become my anxiety. "I'm guessing not well" he said between the phone as I throw the tissue in the garage.

"I have to go"

"No we need to talk about the results-" he said but I hung up before he could say anymore.

I breathe in and look at myself in the mirror. I started to see my facial appearance start to look more tired then before.

I stop looking at myself and open the door as I see her changing back into her clothes and I start to feel my heart race. "Your leaving?" I walk over to her as I see her trying to not look at me.

"Yeah I have to pick up my siblings" she said as she got up and I walk over to her as she looked up to me. "I want to take you out" I smiled as she looked around like someone was there and did that hair string she would always do when she got nervous.

"I would think about it" she smiled as I pull her head to me and kiss her. I wanted to savour this moment as she slowly moved her hands to my naked chest.

"I have to go" she said in between kisses and I continue to kiss her as I suck onto her bottom lip before I let go.

"Okay"

She slowly opened her eyes and her iris got bigger as she stared at me. She took off her jacket and whispered in between kisses "You drive me crazy" I smile from her response as I picked her up and laid her down onto the bed.

•••
After our sweet morning, I watched her leave and I got ready. By ready I mean barely everywhere felt hot, my skin was burning and my throat was dry.

I just wore a tank top and jogging pants, I lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling. I don't want to start chemo. I can't, I've tried so hard to find good reasons but all I found were bad reasons to not take it.

In the end of the day, having lung cancer in stage 3 makes you start to think of life. I really tried my best to not bring Ashley apart of my life, but when she told me she loved me again, I couldn't help myself but to just feel her lips again.

I'm selfish. I'm so selfish. I need to tell her, give her a chance to run before things get bad. I want her to have a bright future even when mines is dark.

I was so into my thoughts that I didn't know my dad was knocking. He enters the door in a panic and sees me. He sighs in relief and I really don't want him to start with his so called motivation speech telling me how my life has meaning and bullshit.

He sits down on the chair beside my desk and looks at me. "The doctor called me, he said that you rejected CHEMOTHERAPY??" he shouts at me and I couldn't handle any more of his shit.

"You don't need to shout I'm right here" I continued to look at ceiling. "No you are going to the hospital and we are going to help you" he said getting up as he takes the blanket covers from me.

I feel anger fuel up my system as I get up from my bed and walk over to him. I clench my fists and stare at his eyes. His dreadful eyes. "I don't need help" I try to remain calm as he shakes his head and goes through my closet. He brings out a suitcase which was filled with all my clothes.

"You are going. You might hate me but you will understand when this chemo saves your life" he said zipping the suitcase. I couldn't do anything else but push him off the suitcase.

He falls on the ground and looks at me with shock eyes. "STOP TRYING TO FUCKING FIX ME, I DON'T WANT- I DON'T WANT TO BE FUCKING CANCER PATIENT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE"

"Your not going to be a cancer patient for the rest of your life" he said getting up.

"I AM. THAT'S THE ISSUE. I RATHER DIE RIGHT NOW THEN TO COUNT HOW MANY DAYS I HAVE REMAINING" I felt tears falling down my face and he tries to hug me but I try to push him away. He grabs hold of me but my anger gets the best of me and I swing at him.

I punch his cheek and he grabs onto the swinged arm and pushes me to the ground. He grabs hold of my two arms and wrap it. I feel like my heart is slowly dying as I can't stop but to cry.

"I CAN'T. I CANT. LET ME LIVE P- PLEASE" I cried out as I felt his tears drop on my face. "STAYING LIKE THIS WITHOUT TREATMENT WILL KILL YOU" he shouted at me as I felt my breathing getting shallower.

I couldn't breathe.