Remember Me

Chapter 45

Lily's POV:

She turns to me with watery eyes. My phone was in her grip. ''Your dad was spamming you with messages and I thought it was urgent till I started to read what he was typing''

''You have cancer. You...have cancer'' she said as if she was trying to make herself believe it. I stepped towards her and closed her door. ''You didn't want to get helped either so what is the difference?''

She scoffed at my response. ''The difference is I have been living through this since I was a child. Yet you just found out about your cancer, and you are already ready to give up'' she said wiping her eyes.

I felt like a complete asshole and before my lips even parted she said ''I feel like a fool talking about a future with you when there's a chance you won't even be in it''

I walk over to her as I saw tears fall down her cheeks. ''Wh- why didn't you tell me?'' she asked, and I felt myself panic. This isn't how I wanted her to find out.

''I'm scared. Okay, I'm scared. When we talked about our future, I panicked''

''It- it was just a game. I care about now, and you're not taking the only thing that's going to keep you alive'' she cried as i went in to grab her hands. She moved her face away from me. I touch her warm skin that was like firewood to my cold self.

''No, you lied. You made me think you were okay. You-you made me think that- '' she said taking my hands away from her skin. I didn't stop trying to comfort her as she repeatedly said ''Don't touch me, no don't touch me''

She stopped as i rubbed my thumb against her wet cheek. I step closer to her as she closed her eyes tight. She tried moving her face away from my hands but i couldn't stop. She needs to understand my state right now, and how i don't want her to feel sad about this.

''Look at me''

She still closed her eyes as i leaned in closer to her. ''Did you sign the paper?'' she whispered as she finally opened her eyes. Her eyes became in shock as she waited for an answer. I couldn't tell her, I was afraid of how she was going to react.

I need her to be okay. Her eyelids started to become lower as she pushed me off her. I still tried to comfort her until she slapped my cheek. She cried as she stepped back.

''You made me trust you, love you, and even cloud my judgment when I knew I should have trusted it. You made me believe in love again. YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU, YOU MADE ME LET YOU IN AND NOW YOU ARE DY-'' before she could say more, I rush to her and kissed her. I press my lips tight against hers as she gasped through her tears.

Our breathing were strong as we tasted our tears mix in together. She gripped onto my jacket pulling me to her. She tried moving back but i continued to kiss her as she finally let me in again.

She moved her hands through my hair as she moved back against her desk. I move my hands down to her waist pushing her closer to me. I hear the door open.

''Ashley are you okay? We can, you hear you shoutin-'' I hear the old man say as she leans away from me and hides her face away from him. I wiped my lips and looked at him.

He seemed confused as he limped his way towards us. ''It's getting late, I think you should go'' He said stopping his tracks as he couldn't look at me instead stare at Ashley. I look back at her as she didn't say anything beside stare at the window not giving me a glance or nothing.

''I'll go then. Goodnight'' I looked at Ashley one last time before I walked to the door and the old men stepped back from me like I was a virus. I headed downstairs and see the old women sleeping on the couch with the kids.

I headed out without making a sound. How can I help someone, when I can't even help myself? I- I thought this whole time I was afraid of accepting help and taking chemo. But I was afraid of losing Ashley in the process but what if it works, and I get a chance to finally live the life I want with Ashley.

That's my motivation from what I'm about to do right now. I head home and go to my room. I take the paper out of my counter and felt anxiety as I touched it.

I fold the paper and head downstairs. I head to my car and drive off to the hospital feeling the anxiety slip through my veins. I park to my soon-to-be, new parking lot.

I head inside and ask for Dr. Fredrick junior. They told me he was about to be off his shift. I ask for his office, and she didn't want to give it which took some persuading including the whole make a whole wish gaslight.

I head to the office and see him exiting the door. ''I had a choice. I could run away from this or... I can face it'' He looked at me as I said it. I feel my heart beat faster and faster. ''Even with a 56% of survival for normal lung cancer. Yet for me, it's only a 6% which is bad... even terrible, but you say...'' I started to think.

''You say, what's the point of not trying if you only live once'' he added into my sentence. I felt myself become at ease with his contribution of understanding.

''I'm ready''