College Journal

An Update

So, the last time I updated here I was all alone, at the brink of sewer sliding, and was failing.

I'd love to say that everything's fine and I finally finished my first year in architecture. But that is so far from what happened.

So basically to summarize 2022 (I can't summarize 2021 because I can't recall anything from that year):

1) I ultimately failed my first year because I had severely burnt myself out. Like, flat out not moving from my bed.

2) (Not saying it was the cause I failed my retake of the first year but it definitely was one of the factors) The elections where I got to vote for the first time was a total scam. It was a full-on battle against misinformation and a total revision of my country's history. A dictator's son won the election for the presidency. But I felt defeated and lost because there was a candidate that I was full-on supporting. And like, there were also other presidential candidates (not saying they fit the role. they were the lesser evil options) that they could've chosen but still chose the dictator's son. ok, I'll stop there because I could go on and on about how disappointed I am with the election results.

3) I tried shifting/changing my program to any engineering course/program, but my college somehow lost my documents for my shifting and by the time I submitted my papers for shifting to the college in the same university, the college of engineering told me that their applications for shifting has been closed and told me to find other universities out there. (also, I felt like shit during this time because I was one of the firsts in my entire tree to transfer out of the university. So, I am the only one who will not graduate from the university in my family)

4) So I transferred to a different University. It isn't really landing on any of the top 10 or (I think) top 20 schools here but the university is relatively known. And with the severe burnout I got during my stay in the architecture program, I decided to continue to change my program and ultimately chose civil engineering.

5) I wanted to drop out even before the academic year started because I was scared and anxious that I would fail again and that I would end up all alone like the previous two years.

6) Was totally wrong for being scared and anxious the people I had classes with were really nice people and actually made friends.

7) I really hate this person and I won't really go and explain myself because I don't want to out myself.

8) I failed a math subject last term, but I'm glad I could retake the subject this academic year. which means, I don't need to fully retake my first year.

Anyway, that's the whole of my 2022. was a wild fricking coaster but I am (barely) surviving.

But the lessons I learned from 2020-2022, are nice things to keep in mind and to keep in my back pocket.
After failing so many times, I learned to stay strong. I mean that doesn't mean that I didn't cry when I learned about my failing grade this year (actually brokedown hysterically crying actually) but like the cheesy lines they say: "fall down seven times, get up eight".

That's all! Will be making a different update soon!

(*ゝω・)ﾉThanks!
-zephyrie~★