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© Myranda Rae 2023. All Rights Reserved.
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"I am unharmed," he repeats again.
"This is hardly 'unharmed,' Ronan. This is a pretty deep laceration." I gently wipe away the blood from his shoulder. He's so bloody I can't tell where any of the wounds are.
His fingers catch my chin, tipping my head back. I can't look at him yet. The tight, fluttering feeling of fear is still coursing through me. Once I know that he's alright, I might be able to relax but not before then.
"Nicole," his soft voice makes me shutter, a wave of emotion clapping down on top of me.
Biting into my lip, I shake my head 'no' and continue to busy myself with his injuries. I was able to hold everything in, to keep it together during the challenge but now I feel completely overwhelmed. Every nerve is exposed and vulnerable.
It's like every emotion possible is weighing down on my chest. The fear that simmered below the surface through the entire challenge has switched now and I am angry. I'm angry at the challenger and his family. I am angry at everyone that was present for allowing the fight to go on for so long. I am angry at Ronan for asking me to be there. He should have known that watching that would be too much for me.
When he whispers something softly in his language with his voice so sweet and gentle, I lose it.
"Stop it!" I can't hide my clipped anger. "You said that everything would be fine."
"I said I would win, and I did."
"I..." I'm completely lost for words for a moment then a tidal wave of words hits me all at once. "That was an absolute shit show. Why was this allowed to go on for so long? Why didn't someone, anyone, put a stop to it? He cheated from the start, then he wouldn't fucking surrender then he was allowed to have a partner? What is this tag-team challenge where anyone can join in?"
"It will never be said that I backed down from a challenge or that I used my position to cut short a grieving family's need for revenge. I was in control the whole time. They needed to let out their rage."
"You were in control the whole time?" My anger is growing. "Maybe it felt different watching from the sidelines but from where I was sitting you won by a hair." I hold my thumb and finger up with no space between them to emphasize my point. "If you hadn't killed him he never would have stopped fighting."
The smile that tugs at his split lips is like a crack in the dam holding back my emotions. I feel everything all at once.
"God damnit, Ronan, why are you smiling? That was so awful to watch! I'm glad my distress is so amusing to you!"
He grabs me as I turn to walk away. Lifting me into his arms he walks toward the bathroom.
"These are superficial wounds. I will be healed by morning," he kisses my chin before I tuck my face down. "Nicole, look at me."
When I don't look up he sets me down and takes my face in his hands. "Your distress is far from amusing to me. I did not kill him. I only disabled him temporarily. I suspected he would not surrender easily but I needed your presence. You kept me calm and level-headed, in control. I am sorry for your discomfort and worry."
"Come on," I sigh, the exhaustion of today feeling heavy on my shoulders. "I'll wash your hair."
"I hardly deserve the honor," he stops, pulling me back to him to kiss me. It's soft but needy. I can feel it on his lips, in his hands as they run over my skin. "I am sorry. If there is ever another challenge issued, I will not ask you to watch."
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