Extraordinary 》phan

02- Love

Daniel James Howell

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"I'm Phil. Phil Lester."

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"I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT MEANT REALLY. You know...love." I spoke quietly, answering the third question on the board. Phil's heavy glare and constant need for me to answer the questions were a bit weird. He nodded, taking my answer but I knew he wanted something else from me.

"What do you mean?" He asked me, moving a bit closer as if that would help him hear me better.

"I just never felt a connection or a bond with someone so strong that I would call it love. The only thing I ever loved was my stuffed fish, Susan." I responded with a chuckle to mask my distress. He opened his mouth to ask me yet another question but I cut him off. "What about you? Have you ever felt love?"

He seemed taken aback. "W-Well yeah. I've had a few relationships and I love my family."

"Really? My family wasn't that special so I never felt anything like that for them." I admitted with a little shame. Everyone loves their families, I remember seeing news about people sacrificing themselves to save their families. It just seemed a bit assigned to me in a way, like my family was an arrangement.

"Really? But they're your family." Phil asked in disbelief, staring at me even more intensely.

"Yeah, I've never really understood the craze. All they did was criticize me in every way then turn around and praise my brother. It just seemed like I was their burden. What is there to love?" I admitted with relief. I've talked to someone like this before, it so nice to rant to this extent.

"But they raised you." Phil argued back and I let out a light chuckle.

"I knew they wanted to leave me on the side of road, and I prefer they did that. It would save me the feeling of disappointment." I muttered.

"How would you be a disappointment? Everyone in this world is so unique in their own ways with their-" Phil began looking so passionate in his words but I cut him off.

"With their powers? Yeah, I can't really relate to that. I don't have any powers." I confessed, crossing my arms over my chest and looking at the board. "Next question."

"You don't have any powers?" He asked in disbelief.

"No, I wasn't born with any." I shook my head. I eagerly hoped he wouldn't continue the subject, it would just make my mood even more horrible.

"Share the story of your first crush." He read off the board. These questions seem a little too personal for me, it seemed more like a dating show than a therapy group.

"What are they setting us up for?" I asked with a hint of annoyance.

"You don't have to answer if you-"

"No, it's just a shit story to be honest. I liked someone and I sent them a love note. The next day everyone laughed at me because it was posted all around school." I recited to Phil, leaving out the detail that it was a boy I had sent the letter to.

I didn't want to seem even more like a freak of nature, everyone I encountered has just ruthlessly made fun of me. Was Phil any different? I don't know, but I don't want to find out either. He's the first person who actually listened to me and I didn't want to ruin this.

"Oh that...sucks. What was her name?" He looked at me with curiosity. I panicked, I could just make up a name but starting this potential friendship with a lie isn't the best.

"It's not important." I ended the conversation. Phil nodded slowly and our conversation faded into an awkward silence.

"What about you?" I asked him.

He blinked. "H-Huh?"

"What's the story of your first crush?" I asked, the conversation was one that kids had as they giggled over their school lunches not one that two teenage boys should be having while they got to know each other.

"Uhm, it was in school when I was little. We dated for two days until she said she didn't want to anymore." He vaguely stated, he prepared himself to ask me another question but I shot another question his way.

"Why not?" I pestered.

"She didn't want to share her fruit snacks anymore." He replied, I noticed how red his fingers were from the cold. I wanted to make a lasting impression of some sort, so I reached in my bag for my gloves.

"Here." I voiced, snapping him from the concentrated look on his face. He looked at the gloves cautiously before focusing on me again.

"Why are you giving me these?" He grabbed the gloves, in a way accepting them.

"If I hadn't seen your face I wouldn't know what your skin color was." I explained, grabbing his hand that was colder than I expected to make him focus on them.

"Oh thanks." I felt my chest heat up a bit as my heart raced, I dropped his hand and stared at the clock. Ten minutes left until this session was over.

"No problem." I brushed off. A silence spread between us as I thought if something to say.

"Okay guys, sadly our session is coming to an end." Margret announced, her expression dropped into a pout, I was a bit taken a back by seeing her face without her smile. "We are going to end off by repeating our name once more."

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