Imperfect Us

Confusion

This weeks feel surreal. I'm on the rainbow. Haven't move on from those letter I received last week. I even smile by myself.
"Hey, what happened? Those smile is..." Sunny asked me.
"What? Nothing... why?" I asked her back.
She shrugged and walk away.
Out of all the fake friends I have in the hostel, Sunny is another person I couldn't share my story with. She couldn't be trusted. My past relationship with Sunny, doesn't allowed me to trust her. Yes, she is a friend but enough for hi-bye or chit chatting a little.

At the hostel bathroom, Nia taking her bath next to me.
"My brother will be coming home for semester break, do u have anything for him?" She asked.
"Do I need to?" I asked with an adrenaline rushing to my heart beat.
"Yeah, he asked me yesterday if I did passed u his letter." She said.
"Owh... I will write to him," I said.

Those whole week I tried to write but couldn't write anything. I doesn't know what to write, or to be exact I've someone now, but Kayden somehow is my dream boy. On the other hand I was thinking of Rick. His reaction towards all of this. His best friend and his girlfriend, betraying him?!? I don't want to loose this chance with Kayden anyway.

But then I took a paper and start writing "... hey Kayden. Received your letter few weeks back. It's been a pleasure knowing u are falling for me. I'm in a relationship with Rick now although I doesn't really interested in him. This is bad. But, how do we move from here?" I stopped as I doesn't know how to continue with the letter. I fold the letter and clip in my notebook. I should write later maybe.

I'm seating on my bed, folding my clothes. My head is full of flash back. On how Kayden treat me, walk straight to me once he saw me, sharing his meal, some times playfully matched me with some of his friends. I remember Rick too would spend his evening after a football match sending me some tidbits and spending some times talking to me. He would standing at the hostel gate to see me off to my dorm. Often they both passed by each other and gone to an evening meal together. Rick was treated me at his best too. Owh... this feeling is killing me.