It was the first day of school and I didn't want to get out of bed. My mama hadn't been bugging me but I think it's because there was nothing to bug me about. It's been 5 days since the incident but I don't want to get into it. I've had my phone on DND so I don't even know how many notifications I have... and I don't want to check. During my existential crisis, I did however do my hair, abiding my 4c hair into protective box braids. Black girl problems.
After putting on a long sleeved tan bodysuit, sweatpants and sneakers, I grab my backpack, car keys and phone before exiting my depression room. I gotta clean that when I get back. I play some slower and reverbed music and sigh loudly as I park my car. I don't want to be here. After mustering up all my energy and courage I take my phone off my favourite focus and watch all the notifs spam and glitch my phone. After filtering out the 600+ notifs from all my games I have 18 messages and 4 calls from Chris, 3 messages from Roy, 4 from Troy, 26 calls from rue, and 2 messages and a missed call from Ashtray. He tried to call me? My heart starts racing but I decide not to read any of them until I'm bored in class.
I get out of my car and walk up to the entrance not seeing anyone really familiar in the sea of teens also walking around. I get to my locker and to my surprise I see Ashtray leaning against the wall awkwardly close to the two doors gaping open, allowing everyone in. "Nyah, here" he gestures and smiles a little. I forgot how sexy his voice was. "Ashtray what are you doing here?" And he pulls me into a quick side hug. Is this a dream? Or am I on drugs because what. The. FUCK! "Just came to see if you're alive. You didn't answer my messages ma," he scratches his neck as if he gave the biggest confession. "Oh sorry, I was uhh grounded. You know... the usual," I choke- I mean chuckle awkwardly. Some kid stops to look at us and Ash's demeanour changes quickly. "The fuck are you looking at?" He scowls at the scrawny boy staring at both of us. "Aight I'm outta here but swing by the shop after school?" He pushes himself off the wall ready to bounce. "Uh yeah sure," I blink rapidly as he leaves. What the fuck was all of that?
I was sitting in media listening to Mrs Utron go on about the evolution of film. I decided now was a good time to check the messages. (A/N didn't let me change the time and date but keep it hushhh). I laughed at Ash's most recent message, I didn't know he was goofy. I replied to everyone who checked up on me the past 5 days which weren't too many thank god.
I responded to everyone necessary and sigh contently. I think it's obvious to me now that I like Ashtray. I like that he's sarcastic and a bit mean, he's also not too much of a talker but he's definitely a listener... even if it's not his conversation to listen to. I look at his texts again, unconsciously smiling. "Who's got you smiling?" Roy (thing 1) says sitting down beside me. "How are you gonna walk into class like 20 minutes before it ends?" This dumbass. "Had an appointment," he winks at me and I fake gag. "TMI," I whine.
"Alright, I think imma skip at lunch," I tell Troy. It was recess and I was chilling with Gia, Roy and Troy. Not my typical crowd, usually it's me and Rue but she's got a new friend Jew? I think that's her name and ion really fuck with her. When Rue introduced us, she gave the typical fake smile and said "Hi, I'm Jules," and when walking away with Rue at a distance she thought was far away from me (it was not), asks the importance of the introduction. Just because I'm a year below but whatever bitch. "Yeah bet, I'll come," Troy says.
Nyah🤘🏾
You doing anything in like an hour n 30?🚬ash
Nahhhh
U tryna swing by?Nyah🤘🏾
Yeah is that coo?🚬ash
Yh that's calmThe bell rings for 5th period and I roll my eyes. "What y'all got?" I ask the clan. "Music," Roy says, "Woodtech," Troy says and Gia says "Drama," making me smile because I had the same. "I just wanna know why you're doing music and wood tech when Roy you haven't got a musical bone in your body and Troy you don't fix shit in the house so how you gonna-"
"Nyah get your ass to class," Troy sighs, I stick my tongue and giggle away with Gia. "Sooo, you and Roy? Or Troy? I don't judge," I tease her as she grabs her stuff from her locker. "Who has got you in such a goofy mood. It's weird," she glares playfully. Ashtray does, but that's just new friends. "So who?" I ignore her question though. "I mean I'm keeping my options open," she chuckles nervously, "but maybe Roy," and I squeal as we walk into class. "Ladies, so nice of you to join us," our new English teacher narrows his eyes at us and I notice every already sitting down in their seats. He goes back to teach and me n Gia talk the whole lesson. I hate introductory drama lessons with them stupid 'get to know each other' acting games.The lesson goes kind of fast because me and Gia were just catching up with each other. "Wait so you like Ashtray?" She shakes me in excitement as I smile. "No, we're just friendsss" I giggle, "Girl, Rue says the nigga don't do friends so what?" And gives me the black stank face. The bell rings causing me to ask Gia, "Okay well I'm heading out but I'll see you at Roy's?" before I leave. She nods and says some words but honestly, it's flies past my head. I'm excited to see Ashtray but also nervous. "Troy you still coming?" I see Troy flirting with some black-haired white girl... I think her name was Kat but I can't keep up with him. "Nah I got miss thang," he smirks not taking his eyes off her and she giggles shyly. "Pick me up tho... and buy me a charger," he finally looks at me and I roll my eyes playfully. "I'll think about it dipshit," I say as I walk away grabbing my bag from my locker.
"So you just weren't gonna talk to me like all day?" I hear Rue and I whip my head around. "Oh well... I thought I should make some friends in my year," I lie with a fake smile on my face. "Nyah I haven't seen you in like basically six days what's going on?" She folds her arms. I notice she's wearing her burgundy zip-up hoodie. I'm starting to think it's more than just her favourite piece of clothing but now is probably not the best time to ask. "Nothing, nothing I-" I see Jules walk up to Rue and hug her from behind. "Hey Rue, who's this?" She places her chin on her shoulder and smiles. "Nyah, remember we met earlier?" I give her my best fake smile, not caring for her response, then look back at Rue, "anyways I'm gonna skip so I'll talk to you later," and I walk out the doors. Freedom at last. I start my Range Rover autobiography and drive to what I like to call Feztray's shop.
"Hey Fez," I grin, grabbing a chocolate bar and hand him some cash. "What's good," he nods. "Ashtray in the back?" I ask trying to sound as composed as normal. "Yeah," he grins taking a hit off his blunt. I wonder what Fez is like... not high. I walk to the back and see Ash distributing some white powder in bags. "Hey Ash," I smile shyly. "Sup lil lady," he continues to weigh the small bag and put them in bags. I sit on the edge of the desk, back facing him but my neck turned. "Why don't you go to school?" I look at my feet kicking them back and forth. "Cos it's dumb," he looks at me suspiciously after hesitating for a moment. "I can't help but feel like you don't like me very much," I blurt and get up to look in the microwave behind where he was seated. Oh, it's just cash. "Nyah you're a dumb bitch," he groans and walks towards me.
Word count: 1435
I stopped it here bc I don't want this chapter to be too long but it's getting saucyyy. Vote and comment feedback <3
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Obsession // Ashtray
Fanficobsession /əbˈsɛʃ(ə)n/ noun the state of being obsessed with someone or something. "She cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession" WARNING: There is GRAPHIC mentions of physical abuse, topics around suicide, body dysmorphia and eating dis...