Obsession // Ashtray

3

I wake up in my bedroom (in the cousins' house) and get into clothes I haven't seen in a while. They were a little tight which caused me to analyse my body in the mirror but look away when my body starts to morph. "I'm not doing this today," I mutter to myself. After taking care of my hygiene I decide to go down for breakfast wondering what the state of the house was. The clutter is what initially drove me out of the house alongside no hangover which is my personal indicator I'm safe enough to drive. I mean fuck the law and drink driving right?

Addict

Hey bestie

you know how I love you

seen

girl, I know you didn't just-

Druggie

girl I'm driving to yours unless you want me to die

Addict

but you didn't know what I was gonna say

Druggie

Ru Ru...

You want drugs

and I need some too

got too much shit on my mind

now shut up and let me pick you up goddamn

Addict

I love you :)

I didn't lie about a lot being on my mind but I did also just generally love the idea of fucking myself over and taking illicit drugs. I didn't want to think about my home life. Or overthink my 'maybe-friendship-with-Ashtray' because I tend to think about those things when they're fresh... and every second after that initial moment. And I definitely no longer want to think about school and it's stupid hierarchy. I pick up Rue and she's giddy and all. "Damn who sucked your clit," I laugh a little shocked by her... energy and happiness. "No one, what the fuck?" she laughs moving her body to the radio. "I just met the sailor moon girl that Fez, was talking about the other day. Her name is Jules," she smiled looking out the window. "Oh word," I say as I pull up to the store and park the car, not thinking too deeply into her comment.

"Hey, lil sisters," Fez mumbles looking very out of it. "Strong blunt?" I chuckle looking at all the Smirnoff in the chiller. Damn, I love me some Smirnoff. "Is Ash out back?" Rue asks eagerly, At least have some decency for small talk rue I try to teleport the message to her head but it didn't seem to work so I send Fez an apologetic smile. Fez just stares at both of us for a bit until Rue says, "Are you going soft on us?" with some joke within her serious question. "No, I'm not. It's just that... I like you. And I missed you, bruh. Like... That shit at the beginning of summer had me scared as fuck" he ghosts and exhales the blunt. "Yeah, you and everybody else," I hate thinking about when Rue OD'd. Maybe he's right... I should stop enabling her addiction. I pick and pinch at my arm looking toward the ground, racking my brain for reasons to justify my selfish actions.

"I'm serious, Rue. I've seen a lot of people die. None like you. Nah, I don't know what type of fucked up shit you got going inside your head. I don't know how to help, but I could tell you one thing: this drug shit, it's not the answer." he sighs and looks at her for a bit before staring at his blunt. "This will be like... one of the last times Rue. He's right," I give her a small smile knowing she can't get shit without my money. "Yeah yeah sure," she rolled her eyes and walked through to the back and I followed right after her. Shit, do I look good right now? I see Ashtray before he sees me and I mentally kick myself for caring. "Sup Rehab Rue and.... Nyah, wassgood?" he said counting a wad of cash.

"I don't get why she doesn't have a shitty nickname," Rue mumbles with hurt laced in her voice and I let out a snort. "Stay confused," He doesn't look up and continues to flick through his cash. "What the fuck do yall want then?" mugs us finally looking up. It feels like I almost made up how chill he was last night. "What we had last time but Jesus you're being a dick," Rue swears and walks out. Ash didn't say anything but asked the question by raising his eyebrow. "She's in a weird mood... she was hyper in the car and she wasn't on anything... Can you add weed onto that?" I say as I watch him take out the packets from the microwave. "Also... since we're friends now can I have your number?" I blurt out. I gotta pack myself up; why did I just say that? He looked up from the little plastic bags with discs and tablets and so forth and looked at me with a smirk on his face. "Pass the phone." is all he said. I watched him type in the numbers wondering if he actually did give me his number or maybe he was bored?

Rue quickly wrapped up our little...moment? What do I even call it that? Because she was keen to get busy druggin. "OI! NYAH LET'S GO!" She yells and my eyes widen. "I gotta get this girl some hobbies," I did the catholic signage of the cross, making him chuckle softly and we said our goodbyes. "So you and Ash?" Rue nudged me as we got into the car. "Rue, we have one conversation and now you want to long jump to the furthest fucking conclusions," I whine with the biggest smile on my face. "Is that why you wanted the drugs in the first place? Just to see him?" she teased me but it made me realise why I wanted them in the first place. I might have subconsciously wanted to see him "No... I actually wanted to get everything off my mind," I confess as we pull up to Rue's house. "Oh my god, is it bad again?!" Her eyes widen but I completely ignore her. "Gimme the drugs," I huff.

Word Count: 1074

Wow, this was short I know, but it's currently 1 am and a girl has got to get her beauty sleep. I feel like Nyashtray is taking forever to happen but then I realise it's only chapter 3 lmao. Pls vote and comment some feedback <3