Chapter 10

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Too Much Is Not Enough

What is this strangeness that yet veils my soul?

Am I forever lost. Fore're unwhole?

*****

I hear the maid outside my door.

Gilia. Gilia. Just go away and leave me in peace.

How sluggish I feel today.

So unlike myself.

It's as if the wind has been sucked from my lungs.

My energy wanes.

I must sleep.

Was I out all night?

How quickly the purple shades of evening recede into the roses, pinks, and oranges of dawn.

I lick my lips.

I smile.

The taste of blood is sweet upon them.

Dyryke promised that with time I will grow stronger. Stronger, perhaps than even he. It is possible, he says.

But we will have to wait and see.

Dyryke says I must go through with this wedding. I must, he says. For the good of Megara.

But we will wait and see.

I think of the people who live here, in and around my father's castle. For all my life I have looked down on all but a few. They are animals. Savages. Brutes. Dirty peasants. Horrible gruntlings. Trolls, the lot of them.

But more and more, I find my attitudes are changing.

No, they are not quite so repulsive. Not so very much.

My mind recalls their dirty faces, their grimy hands, the filth of rags they wear as clothing, and a warm glow blooms inside my bosom.

A very warm glow.

So many of them.

My people.

Full of Life and living.

Going about their daily tasks unaware that they haunt my waking hours.

Dirty faces. Grimy hands. Filthy rags. The squalid little rats they call their children.

The infinity of endless nights ahead.

I sigh.

So much blood.


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