poetry

1.24.23

happy

i'm happy for her.
i'm happy that
everyone else is
satisfied with what
they've got and i'm
happy that they have
the tolerance for
shit situations that i
can't muster anymore.
i'm happy that everyone
has someone to kiss
and someone to hug
and hold hands with
and i'm happy that i know
some kids are having
what is close to sex.
i knew she never wanted me
in the first place so
i guess i'm happy for her

i want you

with all the marrow
in my bones
and all the crimson
in my blood
and all the forest
in my eyes
and all the pain
in my chest
and all the chaos
in my brain
and all the salt
in my sweat
and with every breath
i hate breathing
and every noise
i hate making
and every aching step
i lumber
i want you.

knowing

i wait for the day
that you tell me
what i've been told
what i already know
but with every minute
of the twist in my gut
that day never seems
to come