Scars Of The Wicked (Alastor X Reader)

Chapter 23: It's a Small World

~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~

"If you... If you could return,
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart...
It's ruining everything..."

Marvelous as always, like a goddess wrapped in sparkles; that was what you looked like. On the inside, you felt like anything but. Music played, the same song that played through every performance for the last month. You used to let it flow through you and let the music carry you... But now it just seemed to rattle through the hollow cavern that was your heart. You felt the music, alright. You felt each word in your veins. Biting back tears was agony... you thanked god you weren't singing. But on with the show, you just kept going.

"And I swore... Swore I would be true
And honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep~
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?"

You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream until your lungs gave out. You wanted to kick and punch at whatever was near you just to feel the blunt pain against your skin because at least it felt better than the emotional pain. How fucking dare he, how dare anyone treat you like that...

"Oo, I thought the world of you...
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong.
I was wrong..."

You sniffled as you smiled to the crowd, your grin painfully wide as you carefully pulled your body further up into the air and posed in a split; the silks wrapped around your wrists and a white knuckle grip on them for support. As the crowd marveled at your skill, grace and beauty you pulled yourself back into a more comfortable position and glanced down at your stomach for a moment. 'Guess it's just you and me now...' you thought to yourself as you pictured your future baby in your arms.

"If you... If you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used...
But you always really knew
I just want to be with you
And I'm in so deep~"

You smiled genuinely for a second, although minuscule. Admittedly, as terrified as you were, you were slowly warming up to the idea of having a baby. Wondering if it'd be a boy or a girl, whatever it were you just hoped they were healthy. You quit smoking and drinking as soon as you found out, and hoped that your partying before you knew about the pregnancy didn't do anything to cause the fetus any harm. You even started thinking loosely about names. As much as you dreaded having to tell your parents, you were a little excited.

"You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?"

Taking a deep breath you mentally prepared yourself for the part of your routine that you hated most. The kamikaze drop. Carefully wrapping the silks around your wrists you got yourself wrapped and ready for the head-first drop. Silently praying you could pull it off with ease like you had been since you perfected the move. But in the midst of your erratic emotions and the loudness of the music, you didn't hear the silk above you begin to tear.