Rogues: The Beginning

Chapter 21 ~Feelings~ Ryo pov

     I slowly open my eyes to the rising sunlight, squinting against the brightness. I go to stand and everything hits me all at once, I look down and see my muzzle. Excitedly I jump and up and down. I shake out my fur and flick my tail.
     "Zaru!!! I am me again!!" I stretch forward and feel all the pops of my joints. "Oh I have missed stretching like this. It feels the best!"
     I want to run but I need to figure out what all these new sensations are. I can feel Zaru and Jin's strength now. It lays just beneath the surface of what is mine. I turn my gaze to the white wolf laying in the grass, they too shifted at some point. I see their eyes swirling together, a beautiful mix of purple and blue.
     Their strength must have been what helped me shift back finally. I can also feel them both pressing against my mind but I snarl towards my mates. Warning them not to test my patience, secretly pleased that they can't dirft in easily.
     They step back, instantly wary of me. As they should be, I am happy, confused and most certainly annoyed. I feel way too much as the wolf I am and it most certainly isn't all me.
     I know why they did it though. It was fear and that is a powerful instinct I've learned. They were afraid of losing me, yet I can't figure out how I know this... This is so very different then when they mindlinked me.
     Zaru walks up carefully, his slow pace confirms what I already feel. He is waiting, waiting for me to lash out and attack. To punish them for what we did. I can sense all of his emotions fully now like they are my own.
     Not only do I feel them, I understand them so well. His understanding and knowledge is somehow mine too. It must because of the mate-bond and what we did last night.
     I am not as angry as I thought I would be. A part of me actually wanted it too, it was instinctual at some point. I still have no intention of letting my mates off the hook however.
     I turn and step up to Zaru and chuckle darkly, I lunge and pin him down easily.
     "What happened last night won't happen again. I will dominate you next time and you will never see it coming." I snap my muzzle at him before stepping back.
     I can feel him pushing me through the mindlink. I roll my eyes and open the link to him at last.
     "*Ryo.. Don't be mad. We still have a hard time understanding your emotions. Are you ok?*"
     "Yes and no Zaru." I growl.
     "*Next time we will be better behaved.*" I hear him chuckle in my head.
     "If there is even a next time.." I laugh wickedly but somehow it is full of sweetness, "It feels amazing being me again."
     "*It feels incredible being able to easily talk to you now.*" Zaru steps closer to me with his tail wagging, "*Plus it is good to see you as you again too.*"
     "It is strange hearing your voice in my head. Can Jin talk at the same time we are?"
     "*I can but I did not want to overwhelm you further.*" Jin's voice is husky yet it carries a gentle tone.
      "*Yeah I can feel alot of choas going on inside you still. Maybe we should return home so you can rest?*" Zaru suggests worriedly, "*Do you think you can shift back?*"
      "I am not shifting to that other form for a very long time Zaru. Absolutely not happening, I very much missed my true-self." I shake my head and turn towards the house.
     Zaru follows along side me, different parts of his body brushes into me occasionally. The need I have for him to do it is driving me even more insane. I pick up the pace and it isn't long before we are running through the woods. No longer headed towards the pack house but just enjoying the moment.
      I just want to run now, I weave and jump through the forest. Followimg our old trails and just enjoying the feeling of the wind in my fur. I frolic like I never have before, and let my senses get swallowed up in nature. Soon I feel a slight tug on my tail and whip my head around to see Zaru.
     "What do you want?" I roll my eyes and flick my tail away from him.
     He steps up next to me and just stares deeply into my eyes. I see a range of emotions flicker in Zaru's eyes. Some I know and others I still have yet to understand. His intense gaze slowly becoming unnerving, "Zar-"
      "*Your eyes are like endless flames, I can't help but admire the dance I see within them now. You seem so different, I can't explain it nor can even begin to understand it.*" Zaru looks me up and down.
     "I don't feel any different and you still seem to be the same." I huff out a sigh and stretch my paws out in front of me.
     "*I am serious though. Since we marked and mated, there is just something new about you.*"
     "Have my eyes changed?" I feel a slight panic bubble, I really liked my eyes.
     "*It's as though they are fire themselves. I'm afraid that if I gaze for too long I'll burn.*" Zaru turns and walks in the direction of the house.
     "Well that is one way to change the mood." I can't help grumble at the sudden shift in atmosphere.
     "*I am sorry Ryo*" Zaru chuckles softly, "*We can run more after eating.*"
      "Hmm meat!" I take a few leaps forward and bump my shoulder into his.
     As the house comes into view, Zaru shifts to his human form. He ruffles my fur with his fingers as he smiles.
     "Are you sure you don't-"
     "Positive Zaru." I chuckle, "I am better this way. It is who I am. Never forget Zaru, I am a fighter. The undefeated beast of the rogue lands."
     "With you it is always the extremes, either I am in heaven or I am in hell." Zaru shakes his head in defeat and opens the door for me.
     "What fun would it be if I were anyone but me?" I smile wickedly and trot past him.
     "I want to free you from the chains of your past Ryo. I can feel the burden you carry through the bond. You may not let me in to your mind but I can feel something at least." Zaru walks around to the fridge and opens it, taking out 5 large steaks.
     "I feel yours too, you know. I get that I am a complete contradiction to the image you originally had as a mate." I walk and lay down on the cool stone floor. "Not saying that it upsets me but I think you are upset with yourself."
     Zaru grabs a serving plate and lays 4 steaks on it. I watch as he carefully carves away the excess fat and tendons before he places it on the floor. I take a big sniff, remembering the joy at eating fresh meat.
     "Fix up yours now. I will wait for you to finish." I smile and lay my head down on my paws.
     "Ryo you know I love you?" Zaru keeps his back turned but I can feel his fear.
     "Through the mark I have felt your feelings. Yes I know you love me. Does this ease your fears?" I watch Zaru carefully as he moves about cooking his food.
     "Do you love me?" His hand trembles but he does well to maintain composure.
     "I do not know Zaru. But I do have this feeling I don't understand." I take a deep breathe and stand up facing him now, "It feels so odd but some how you make me feel whole inside." I shake my head not even sure how to describe this to him.
     "How can I put this better. It is such a strange feeling like being full but yet to have eaten anything."
     "Thanks Ryo. I do feel better. Your emotions are so alien to me. You feel things and see things so different that even with our link it is hard for me to understand you." Zaru rubs the back of his neck, a wave of relief washing over him.
     "Ready to eat now? I am famished." I growl playfully.
     "Yes," He looks at me with a big smile and takes a seat next to me on the floor, "Let's dig in."