SDMN Oneshots

Wroetozerk

TW's: Swearing, Self Harm

(using * means thoughts)

Harry's POV:

I had always had a shit mindset mainly because of my past and also because I take a lot of things to heart so for example when I get hate comments on social media, I don't take it lightly and I hate how I let things like that affect me but I just can't help it. I started to self-harm when I was in year 8 because I always got picked on for being gay and I was being called really mean things every single day and since my parents were homophobic, I couldn't turn to them for help since they would probably make it worse.

Ever since I met my best friend Josh, I slowly became better and my problem was getting easier to deal with. He is the only one who knows about my self-harm and I plan to keep it that way until I get over my problem. Today I had a bad day because I had done a twitch stream and all I could focus on where the people sending hate in the chat, I had to hide the fact that these comments were making me upset so my fans wouldn't worry about me so that's what I did. About an hour and a half later I ended stream and stood up flopping on my bed thinking about all the comments I saw, *bro no one likes you*, *you are the most boring fucker I have ever seen*, *this guy really thinks that people like him*, *bro should just kill himself already*. I started crying wondering if maybe those people were right, I knew what I had to do. 

I stood up and walked to my bathroom proceeding to close and lock the door. I opened my draw and grabbed a small blade hidden at the very back of the draw, I knew I shouldn't do this but I felt I had to. As I drew the blade closer to my skin my hands started shaking but I knew I had to get it done and over with so I sliced my tears making it sting more as they fell onto my arm.

1 slice for being worthless

2 slices for being a burden

3 slices for being annoying

4..5..6..7

8 slices for being ugly.

By then I had blood streaming down my arm and dripping on the floor and I instantly felt regret. I dropped the blade and slid down against the back wall whilst holding my arm sobbing.

Josh POV:

I had nothing to do today and usually when I have days like this I would check to see if any of my friends were streaming and if they were I would watch them. I checked twitch and saw Harry streaming so I clicked his name so I could watch it and maybe interact. I lived in the same house as him but I was comfortable in my bed so I wasn't bothered to go to his room. I was watching his stream and he looked like he was having a good time but then I had a look at his comments for the first time. I was in disbelief because I did not know how some people could be so mean to someone, I knew he didn't take comments like those very well so as soon as his stream ended I shut off all my monitors and rushed to his room.

I entered his room to see that he had locked himself in his bathroom so I put my ear to the door in hopes I can convince him to let me in. "Harry mate are you alright?", Instead of an answer all I got was small sobs so now I definitely knew something was up. "Haz please let me in I can tell that something is wrong you know you can trust me right?", Once again he didn't answer me with words but this time answering me by slowly turning the lock on the door so I could enter. I enter to something I was really hoping I wouldn't see, I walked in to Harry sat against the wall holding his bloody arm with a small blade next to him, I knew what he had done but good thing is I knew how to help him. "Oh Haz I am sorry this happened, will you let me help you get cleaned up?", "y-yes please". I picked Harry up and placed him onto the bathroom counter so I could clean his arm. "Harry I am going to go downstairs and grab the bandages and antiseptic liquid ok", He nodded so I made my way downstairs. As I was about to take the things I needed I ran into Vik and I knew he would question what I was doing. "Uhm Josh why are you going through the medicine cabinet?", "Oh uhm I was seeing if the extra pack of batteries were in here because I need to replace the batteries in something", "Oh well I don't know why they would be in there but if I see some I will let you know", "Oh ok thanks Vik". I successfully lied my way out of that and as soon as I knew he was back in his room I quickly grabbed everything and ran back to Harry's room.

I locked his door and went up to him so I could treat him. "Ok Haz I am about to apply the antiseptic so this may sting ok?", I slowly added the antiseptic and I saw him flinch away most likely due to the stinging pain, I then securely wrapped his arm in bandages before helping him off the counter and onto his bed where I lied down next to him so I could have a little talk with him. "Haz did you do this because of the comments on twitch?", "yes I am so sorry Josh I really didn't want to do it but I just felt I ha-", "Harry calm down no one is mad at you ok fuck all those assholes who have no life and think making others upset is funny because they are probably unhappy with themselves so they take it out on others ok Haz you are so important, you are funny and you have a really funny sense of humour, you have a gorgeous smile and you bring good energy into every room you step into and I promise you that there are so many people who love and appreciate you like me and the boys and your family and fans so please don't let dickheads like them be the reason you hurt yourself because you don't deserve it". I saw a big smile appear on his face as he leaned in and connected our lips, I certainly didn't expect it but I kissed back. The truth is I had taken a liking to Harry and I have liked him for a while now so when he kissed me I don't think I had ever been happier.

Harry's POV: 

Josh had no idea how much better he made me feel, first he took his time with me, then he went through the trouble to treat my wound and now he has taken time to lie down with me and say all these nice things to me that I can tell he really means. What I haven't told him is that I have liked him for over a year now and the only people that know are Simon and Tobi, I knew I had a massive smile plastered across my face so I took this as an opportunity to confess my feelings for Josh without actually using words so I just took the chance and kissed him. I had a million thoughts running through my head as I was kissing him, "Omg Josh I am so sorry I shouldn't have done that I-", "Harry I am really glad you did that because you just made it a whole lot easier for me to say that I like you and I would like to be more than friends". 

My whole day just got better and I felt like the happiest man in the universe, "OMG YES JOSH I WOULD LOVE THAT TO", "Ok calm down Haz now let me clean the bathroom and then we can tell the others". He got up and went to the bathroom picking up the blade and breaking it before putting it in the bin and cleaning the blood off the floor and counter and then walking back to me. "Harry do you want one of my hoodies so it covers your arms, I will put yours in my washing load?", "Yes please Josh". As he left the room I took off my hoodie so I could put his on straight away so when we walked back in I slipped it on, It was quite large but I liked it better that way anyways and plus it also smelt like him which was great. "Ok Harry do you want to go and tell everyone the news, they are all sitting on the couch right now", "Yea let's do it".

We stood up and walked downstairs and we sat on the couch with me cuddled up against Josh. "How come you two are so close", JJ said, "Well we actually have really exciting news to tell you guys", "can u tell them please", I whispered to Josh, He nodded and proceeded to say, "So basically me and Harry are now officially together and we couldn't be happier". All the boys started doing their stupid little cheer but I knew they were all happy for us and they just showed it differently. Simon was wiping the happy tears off Tobi's face which made sense since they were the ones that knew and they have been together for a while and JJ, Ethan and Vik were just jumping around together doing fuck knows what but at the end of the day I love them all, Josh more romantically but still I couldn't be happier with my home life and as long as I have Josh and the boys here, I know I can overcome my problem and live a good life.

Today I finally reunited with two of my best friends after 6 whole weeks of holidays so I had a good day today so I hope you did 2.

Eat something nice today and drink some water and then treat yourself so a little treat because you deserve it <3333

(Words: 1745)