Mist and Mystery at Calormen's Grove

The Mouse's Oath

5. The Mouse's Oath

Come nightfall on their fifth day on the Dawn Treader, Susan found herself seeking the cool night air to clear her thoughts. The whole experience had come to overwhelm her; their illogical return to Narnia, Caspian's word to find a queen and her own bottled up emotions for the same man.

The young woman preferred it when things could be explained; when it had a reason she could see and understand. Now not only her head was having trouble keeping up, but also her heart.

As soon as she had realized where they had returned, Susan Pevensie had promised herself to remain prepared to be sent back to England when Aslan realized the mistake that had somehow been made. Neither her nor Peter's fate was to be in Narnia, the mighty lion had said so himself, and she must never forget that. She must never forget, either, that England held her path and that this was just a tiny detour on her great trail through life.

That Narnia had never been her future was something the young woman had come to terms with long ago. She thought of this return as a happy dream of sorts, one from which she would eventually awake, heart-grieved and alone in England. It was all a matter of time. And if she was to be prepared to leave all of Narnia behind whenever the mistake was brought to light, she couldn't get emotionally invested.

After her long talk with the Telmarine king about the life and decisions of a regent, Susan had decided to keep some distance to the handsome, young man. This did in no way mean acting uncivilized, but rather to not find herself in another private situation with him. Her fears that old feelings would blossom within her heart and put down roots meant having to stay away from danger. Though, when it concerned the warm, kind king, this was harder than first conceived. He was so sweet and attentive to her in ways that made her heart skip a beat every now and then, even though he surely did not mean anything with his actions.

In truth, Susan had felt her heart beat quite out of control upon realizing the Telmarine man would soon choose a bride of his own. When he had discussed the matter privately with her there had been that one moment when he had gazed down at their hands and declared the qualities such a bride would have to possess. He had said she would have to have a gentle heart. Gentle. As if he was referring to her and not some random queen he had yet to fall in love with. It was a silly thought, the woman knew, to even consider the notion that Caspian had been referring to her at all. She had read more into it because of, she could admit as much, her own secret wish that he still felt affection for her.

The brunette sighed up at the starry skies and tried to clear her mind once and for all. She wanted nothing more than to lose herself in the beauty of a perfect moment at sea, but had to pull back even in this regard. She had to remember the promise she had made to herself. Honestly, though, there were ways for her to minimize the pain, but she would be sad either way to leave this place, to leave the Telmarine king...

Oh, for heaven's sake, she thought as she closed her eyes tight in irritation. Get a grip, girl! It was just a silly teen crush!

There never had been more than chaste words and a farewell kiss to seal their incipient emotions. It had always been meant to end as nothing more and Susan had come to accept this during her year away. Besides, they had only known each other for a brief window of time, during which they had been quite busy with reclaiming a kingdom from his mad uncle. There had been no time to actually get to know each other in peaceful days.

To Caspian, all of it had been three years ago and evidently he had mastered the role of king in great strides since then. Had she truly been foolish enough to believe that a few fleeting moments would make him swoon over her the way she still swooned over him?