Soul Scent SALLY FACE (This Updated Half Way Through)📝📼

Re-doఌ

Phillip's POV: I wake up after getting flashbacks about last night, Holy shit how could I forget!? We kissed...Why would I do that? How did it even happen!? We weren't drunk or high or anything...We were just our normal selves. Was it just something that happened at the moment or do I and Sal want something more? ShitShitShitYOU FUCKED UP!

I'm still dating Travis. That can't be something loyal to do at all...I don't care if Travis has been with me only to solve his sexuality, we've been together and that's all that matters. It's still wrong either way, both sides of the love are fucked up enough. I and Sal have to tell Travis soon and in some way...maybe we don't have to. If it keeps happening then I'll need to tell him. That's just a secret...Yeah..sure...

I sit up and walk up to the living room, Sal was already up, and Benji sat next to Sal in the empty space. Travis wasn't in the house, he was nowhere to be seen. I put on my shoes and Jacket not saying anything, I run out of the door thinking heavily. I didn't know where I was running, I let my mind fill with random thoughts and scenes of last night, what would have happened if I and Sal drank last night? What if it was at his house in his room? FUCK...
I stop after I can't recognize where I am, I look at my phone with messages from Sal, and I try responding in the calmest way possible without making him stressed.
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Sal: Pip? Where'd you go?

Just a morning walk! 

Sorry if I worried you.
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I feel like I just lied...What if Travis finds out the wrong way? What if he hates me? I hate myself. What do I do? I want to cry...I wish to sit down and cry. Why why why? God, how am I supposed to deal with this? Sal kissed me, I didn't hate it...but I'm with Travis! I and Sal knew obviously. It wasn't anything that made us feel that way. We didn't take or drink the stuff. Nothing at all. I sat down in the unknown grass spot, do I disappear? Do I leave Travis...it feels wrong. What if Travis gets angry? He loves me right? No, he has to..he wouldn't act this way just for attention. Is it me? Am I just ugly? God. Maybe I need a break from Travis? Travis has been distant...I'm not going to lie, I'm not jealous but..I've been suspicious of him and this girl in our class.

I don't spy or anything, what if it was a family member or close friend? It turns out they are not even related in any kind of way. Not in a genetic way at least. Her name is Jen if you even care about it. Clearly, Travis cares...Why am I acting like I'm obsessed now? Maybe Travis is experimenting, maybe I was just his subject, his first time if that's what you want to say, his first kiss, his first confession ugh. That's not the point though..how can I be so sure of this Jen girl being his? I guess I'll have to find out somehow.

After a bit I decided to go home to see Sal, he smiles at me and I don't hesitate or think, I lay on Sal as he laughs and speaks for a bit. I lay on his stomach and wrap my arms around his sides just doing nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. I don't speak, I was just silent. Sal looks down at me and slicks my hair back "Are you okay? What's on your mind?" I tried holding back for a bit but it my words wanted to burst and splat everywhere. My face softens as I look tired and weak.."What is it between Jen and Travis?...I- Sorry..Just.." I couldn't explain anything, it was like the tension of telling your mom about your mental health and what you do to yourself. I feel tears in my eyes as I try to blink them away.
He wasn't talking, he kept messing with my hair and sighed

"Hey..can you tell me more of what's happening? Only if you are comfortable. I just want to know what's going on in your head right now. You look overwhelmed." I almost speak instantly my voice breaking more and more with each word. I felt like shit "You kissed me. I'm not upset about it. I feel some kind of guilt for it. I'm still sort of with Travis and I didn't pull away from you and I don't know what to do with myself. I feel shame I feel guilt I feel the happiness I feel stressed. SHIT, what do I do!? What can I do? Does he hate me? Does he want to try new things with me am I not enough? Does he want to get more romantic and sexual? Am I not giving him enough of what he's looking for!?" I keep going on and on as I start to freak out a bit, I felt angry...I was closer to Sal, he was sort of holding me as I spoke to him about everything.

Sal's tone in talking changes slightly "Phillip, when was the last time Travis left without you knowing? How often does he leave...what and when was y'all's last conversation? Do you think that will hint more about if Travis likes you? Maybe he's just moving on slowly. He's probably just confused right now. I mean his Dad's rough on him and maybe his yelling is starting to actually affect how he treats you. I'm sorry for taking it like this but..Y'all would've broken up realistically months ago, you always scrap the relationship, you do a lot! I don't think you can patch a big crack with a tiny patch anymore. I'm not forcing you but, I think you need a break from Travis, like a breakup. Until you know what's happening, not because of this new status of relationship you and I created a while ago.."

I sit up in front of him, I didn't want to think about anything, I just did what was bubbling in my mind. I kiss Sal and put him on the couch, with no thoughts of anything, just pure love, and action from the heart.

So guys I gave up on this for a bit. I didn't think this story through so I'm making a new one I guess you can say.