Chapter 15 • Starla

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Back home finally

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Back home finally.

It seems like forever since I've walked these very halls. After every thing that has happened since the last time I was here, which amazingly wasn't that long ago, has me missing this place more than I would of ever thought possible.

Especially, my family.

And today I can really use all of their love, support, and advice.

I can't believe he cheated? I meant what I told him though, I am not in love with him, thankfully, but that did help ease the pain of his betrayal somewhat. Knowing that my feelings for him are not that strong as of yet did help me cope with it but fuck it still hurt.

After Liam cheated on me, I told myself that I would never allow anyone to get that close to me again ever but here I am marked by one of my mates that I'm scared I may actually be falling for, dear sweet Navin.

Then there's Niko who has lately shown me a different side of him, which confuses me, but still he's staring to worm his way into my heart, slowly.

And Alis, strong, dark, but very alluring. He seems aloof at times but he is very protective of me and when he finally opens up I can't help but to get loss inside those whimsical eyes of his. The strong silent type has always held a certain charm for me.

Then finally Demir, whom did the most horrid thing imaginable to me. I sort of understood when Niko did what he did. I mean we haven't even properly known each other that long at that point in time. So I find myself excusing his tardy affair, not completely though, but with Demir it's a different story altogether.

He knew me! It hasn't been that long granted but still we held conversations and shared time together. He knew I was destined mate but yet he still carried on with Tracia like I didn't even matter.

That, I think, is what hurts the most about his betrayal. The very idea that I was so callously pushed aside and not even thought of while he was wrapped up in another's arms bothers me the most.

I know all of our relationships are new but that is still no excuse for what he has done. I wouldn't do that to him. I wouldn't do that to either of them because I know how much it fucking hurts.

So why would he do it to me? Am I that bad of a mate? Am I not good enough? Why me?

All of the questions running through my mind will probably never receive an answer but I honestly wish I knew why I'm not desired. Is my looks? Am I too fat or ugly? Do I not speak well enough? Am I just that deplorable?

Is it me?

All these self doubts consuming me have me feeling even more depressed. I don't want to reject them. Any of them. I usually fight for what I know is right, but is it?

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