The Winners Take It All | Chishiya

The philosophy of egoism

"It's safe here," I murmured quietly to the man standing next to me who surveying the other room.

"Here too," he answered, and I was finally able to relax my sore nerves a little.

This was something I couldn't do for a long time - but I was happy to find some relaxation.

We had decided to find a place to stay for the night and start the games tomorrow.

Chishiya had chosen a well-located apartment for us, which the two of us would now move into. Just thinking about it made me feel a little sick because I was still wary of him - not in a bad way, but I didn't trust him- no... myself yet.

Who knows what else I would do if we sat in the same room together. Hopefully it wouldn't turn into me attacking him like I did after my drinking game...

But I was glad that I didn't have to go through the new phase alone.

"There's still water in the bathroom, I think someone has camped here before. You can freshen up if you want," he informed me as I stood a little helpless in the doorway. At first, I considered whether I should interpret his comment as a hint, but I decided against it. Who knows what he could have countered - I wasn't in the right state to verbally attack or to be attacked verbally.

So, I nodded gratefully to him and made my way to the small bathroom.

There I looked in the mirror for the first time in days. I almost jumped backwards in shock, but the wall stopped my attempt to escape.

My goodness, I looked bad!

My skin was pale, I had numerous bruises on my face and black circles under my eyes.

What a dream woman I was... Or not.

Suddenly my self-confidence was gone.

Did other people see me that way too - did he see me that way? Was I ugly in his eyes?

I looked away and started to clean my skin with the water from the water buckets and then comb my hair with a comb I found in a cabinet. I tried to forget the wild thoughts, which I actually managed quite well.

I just had to carry on doing what I was doing before - my appearance had nothing to do with it!

Since my hair seemed greasy, I braided it into two French braids to hide the discomfort because we didn't have enough resources to wash it.

In fact, the result was noticeable, I looked much better! At least that's what my inner voice told me when I looked in the mirror again.

When I left the room again, I found Chishiya in the living room on the large couch, leafing through a book with interest. One look at the title told me it was about human genetics. The conversation at the 9 of Hearts game came back to me - he had mentioned that he was studying medicine.

I sat down on one of the chairs and looked at him.

How could he still look so... normal after all this chaos? His clothes were immaculate, he didn't have a single scratch. Was he just too smart to hurt himself or did he have some kind of superpower within him?

"It's fascinating how humans have evolved, isn't it? How this creature has fallen into selfishness," he turned the page as I looked at him. Where did this thought suddenly come from? Was he expecting an answer?

"Selfishness was just a byproduct of evolution," I said after thinking about the words for a bit. He looked up from his book before studying me closely. Apparently, I had piqued his interest with my statement.

"What makes you think like that?" Curiosity was evident in his voice, a phenomenon that didn't happen very often for him.

"Well... human beings have evolved spiritually. At the very beginning they a weak creature, they had many enemies and lived in fear... But then something happened to the brain of our ancestors. Logical thinking became a custom that developed with each passing year," I took a breath, "humans rose in the rankings. There were fewer dangers, people paid less attention to their surroundings and more to themselves. Luxury, money, power... All just by-products of one spiritual development."

There was an awkward silence between us as he let my words sink in.

Then he grinned. "Not bad, Ayuna," he stretched, "A very interesting way of thinking that you've been taught." I raised an eyebrow at him. He just laughed. "Psychology. Your way of thinking is different than that of a doctor, for example," he added, and I didn't know whether to take it as an insult.

The guy was just way too good at encoding his words.

"What do the 'medical people' think about the development of egoism?" I asked as a counter question to somewhat cover up my confusion about his words.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "Well. You're not entirely wrong about further development, but I see it in a different light. Humans have always been selfish by nature. From the beginning they wanted to ensure the survival of their own kind, but they became more and more selfish as they realized what they were capable of. It is a further development, yes, but I don't see it spiritually, but physically. Humans have changed and adapted to the conditions. They have developed faster than other species had done it. And that drove him to selfishness when he realized the strength," he cleared his throat and then looked at me.

I smiled slightly.

"Medics... You come from the same field as clinical psychologists, but you still have a fundamentally different view - it's kind of scary, as well as interesting," I replied, and he started to grin.

"That's called freedom of thought and expression," he joked, "You should actually know that." I just rolled my eyes and then sat back to relax a little. He always managed to twist my words in my mouth.

When he finally stood up, my gaze returned to him.

"I'll be right back," he simply mumbled before leaving the room. I watched him go before returning to my thoughts.

This whole situation had driven my emotional and mental state into chaos even further.

We could talk to each other well - it was a privilege to have a reasonable conversation with him, I knew that. He only spoke to people he considered worthy.

Somehow it made me happy, it gave me hope - even though I knew that hope was hanging by a thread.

How ironic, right?

Sighing, I stood up and stood at the window, where I had a good view of what was happening outside.

How green Tokyo was now... It was somehow calming if you loved nature, but it also raised questions.

How could it be so green?

Why did the plants grow so quickly?

I still hadn't been able to find out what kind of place the Borderland was and why we were here.

And what about Ayumi? Not that I really cared, but I wanted to know if I would get in touch with her again.

There was a clatter behind me, and I looked at Chishiya, who had just returned. He had some food in his hand. I left the window and sat next to him. He handed me a packet of cookies and I thanked him before I started to nibble on them. Every now and then I noticed the scrutiny he gave me, but I ignored it.

Tomorrow we would play.

I had no idea what was in store - which once again lit a fire inside me.