Dead Girls Diary

Chapter One.

Dear Diary,

Nothing ever feels the same anymore, when i sleep i dont feel as though im sleeping. I still feel wide awake, I don't dream, I just end up seeing blank. I don't feel the need to eat anymore, and when I do eat, the foods I use to love just don't have a taste anymore.

I get it. Im dead, I don't have a pulse, I don't have a heart beat, I don't even feel pain. But yet, I still feel emotions like fear, embarrassment, happiness, confusion, and love. I know i still have these emotions. because i fear someone noticing my unusual breathing pattern and figuring out that I'm dead but still living. I'm embarrassed of what I may be, I am sort of happy that I still get to be here, still get to spend time with my family. I'm confused as to why I'm still here, why i have no heart beat but can still think, walk, eat and all the stuff i did when I had a heartbeat. Last but not least, I still love my family and family. One thing I'm not loving is starting Senior year as a complete freak of nature. I haven't really been around my friends since I figured out what was wrong with me and I've barely been out of my room. Im afraid, I don't know what I am or what I'm suppose to be. I have my fake breathing looking normal and the only thing that has changed in my appearance is my eyes, they use to be a light shade of brown but now they're clear blue and sometimes even look gray.

Don't get me wrong, I kinda like the color but someone is gonna ask questions as to why my eyes are blue and how did i get them to be so clear. I could lie and day contacts, but everyone knows i have 20/20 vision and my parents would notice something.

But still. Something could happen, I don't know what but something could i just have this feeling.Guess I'll just have to see what happens.

Sincerely, Dead Girls Diary.

************

"Katherine, honey get up." mom gently shook me attempting to wake me from my dreamless sleep. I opened my eyes to the light that is shining from my bedroom window and my mom standing above me with a smile.

"Morning mom." I greeted her sitting up, checking the time on my phone that was sitting on my nightstand next to my bed.

7:30

An hour until I have to go to school.... Great.

"Start getting dressed, when your done come down stairs. Your father is cooking you and your brother a special breakfast." she finished and kissed me on my forehead before leaving me to get ready. I stood up from my bed and headed over to my dresser to get my outfit of the day and started towards my bathroom.

I turned on the water, letting it warm up before I got in, I went ahead and took down my bleach blonde hair from the bun I had put it last night and start undressing and stepped into my shower. Feeling the warmth of the water on my lifeless pale skin is so refreshing.

I finished washing my hair and body and stepped out, wrapping my towel that was hanging on the rack around my body and started blow drying my hair. Finishing that i got dressed, slipping on a floral tanktop and some denim skinny jeans along with a black leather jacket. Then started curling my hair and applying some make-up to make my eyes look a little more awake then dead.

Get it. I made a joke.

I finished getting ready and started down stairs and into the kitchen where my brother was sitting at the bar and mother trying to help my dad cook. I took in the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and smiled, knowing dad knows its my favorite.

"Smells great dad." I complement and take a seat next to my brother Dex, he is a year younger than me and looks like he could be my twin. We've always been close, I know I could tell him anything. Well use to be able to tell him anything.