I go to work super early in my super sexy hot ass green suit made of dead polar bears. I kill 10000000000000000 treest in the first hour. Than my ipad mini bring brings. I instatnly pick it up. "OMG MY DOVE L'AMOUR DE MON VIE MY TREE FUCKER IS IT YOU????" I scream into my ipad mini.
"No you dissappointement of the human race it's me, your *mother*" says my mother.
I frown so hard that I almost die. "PLs it's too early in the morning to be berated abt my poor life choices!!" I scream. "Nah bitch it's never to early to tell the truth," my mother continues. I hate her bc I'm her least favourite child and she tried to make me into a human burrito twice when I was 5. SHe is cannibalism. "TIME FOR UR DAILY REMINDER OF EVERYTIME YOU'VE DISAPPOINTED ME" she screeches, "YOU SPILT CHOCOLAT EMILK ON MY BED WHEN YOU WERE THREE, YOU WERE BORTHED SO UGLY THAT THE DOCTOR THREW UP, YOU HAVE A THIRST TRAP ACCOUNT ON TIKTOK, YOU LISTEN TO "IM IN LOVE WITH AN EMO GWORL" UNIRONICALLY, UR GAY, YOU DREW YOUR COCK ON YOUR GEOGRAPGY ASSINGMENT IN GRADE 7 AND WROTE "gimme an A bb", AND YOU THAN SKIPPED ALL OF GRADE 2 TO LIVE OUR UR DREAMS OF BEING A STRIPPER-" I hung up bc I already know that I'm sexy and amazing and I dont need her to tell me that. I than blast emo gworl and cry in the sink at my work for 6 hours. "Tf is wrong with you bitch, get out of the sink and aller melt some icebergs," says my co-worker, jeff the blogger. "I'M IN LOVE WITH AN EMO GWORLLLLL," I scream along to the lyrics, crying all my eyeballs out. "Is ur emo gworl orange?" jeff asks.
"bITCH WHAT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT IS THAT TREE FUCKER ORANGE LIL BITCH CHEATING?!" I scream. "No i just saw the lorax being sacrificed to the twitter gods though," jeff replied. I let out a sigh of relief. I dont need a failed relationship added to the list of why my mother hates me. "WAIT WHAT" I screm, "NOT THE TWITTER GODS!" I instantly shoot out of the bathroom and into the sky like I'm turbo from the hit movie wreck it ralph. I grab my sack of marshmellows and head to the twitter head quarters. Only I get to fuck the lorax, not twitter.
YOU ARE READING
The Oncler x Lorax (more like Lor-got-an-ass) THE SEQUEL
FanfictionWe told you to c u m for the sequel! We hope you did! Big thanks to GrassisVeryTastyAF for being very grass chompy and deciding the fate of this love story.
