Coffee Cups and Your Eyes

Chapter 2

This week has been a drag. I've probably had forty cups of coffee. It's Sunday and the work is already piling up. Also Chance guy is the only thing on my mind. He sleeps in math and english, but in science he knows all the answers and is always answering the questions the teacher asks the class. He has a beautiful voice. I'm really bad at science. I think im already failing.

I keep accidentally bumping into him or walking into the same bathroom and it kind of angers me. I hate the way I'm suddenly obsessed with him and the unfamiliar he gives me. It's like I would give everything to a guy I barely know and wouldn't even care.

His silly smile when he does something stupid and the way he brushes his hair back is mesmerizing. The world goes silent. It's like watching something deep in a forest. You know you should be silent and move on but it's so beautiful in a mysterious way that you want to come out of the trees and let your curiosity free. I so desperately want to talk to him and be rid of this curiosity.

Like I said, the work is piling up and my concentration is out of wack and he is perfect and I am dying and all I want to do is sleep but I am drowning and I am screaming but nobody hears and nobody cares. I feel dead from lack of sleep and I'm in a coma of coffee and him. Him with his silky smile and hazel eyes. I want to swim in the world his eyes hold.

I want to sleep normally and I want my heart to slow down when I see him. I want to hear his story. I bet he has seen a better world. I bet he has a better story. I'm tired of mine. I'm tired of how lonely I am and how cold it all is. I wish my mind would just shut the fuck up so I could breathe once in a while.

I smell my fresh sheets and slowly exhale. I listen to to rain as I slowly drift off, thinking of him and how I'm going to need more coffee tommorow than ever before just to survive.

Why is it all so tiring?