dark and mysterious

2

He touched me lightly. My insides felt like spaghetti. He pushed me on the bed. He yanked a condom out of his pocket with the Batman symbol on it. "We won't be needing this," he grunts, throwing it in my face. "I'm Batman." He rips my plaid pantaloons off. I pull his mask off which reveals...Edward from Twilight??? Even sexier. I rip my shirt off and expose my thicc man titties which he immediately latches onto. His tongue goes on an adventure. It covers every last part of my green nip nips. I moan in an ogrely manner. His head comes up. "You taste like onions," he says. "It's sexy."

That's when Fiona bursts in. "SHREKKY." She shrieks. "EDWARD?" She asks, ripping off her wedding ring and throwing it at Edward. "Take it. I wanna bone both of you." She yanks her dress off, revealing washboard abs and DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD titties. "Threesome?" Batman asks while looking at me, awaiting my answer. "Yeah" I respond, "sure" I let Fiona on the bed and Batman looses interest in me. I'm devastated. Batman is now pounding my gorgeous wife. The door slams open for a second time. A man with black hair and a black stache. He's wearing a yellow shirt and jeans. "Fiona!" He shouts. "Cleveland!" Says Fiona. "What in tarnation is going on??" He asks. Without hesitation, I take him in my arms and passionately kiss him. His lips were warm and squishy. Fiona is flabbergasted. "Shrek how could you! Cleveland was my boyfriend!" Fiona shouts. "You stole Robert from me so I stole Cleveland, he deserves better than you anyways" I say, kissing him again. Fiona ran out of the swampy house in tears. Batman uses one hole of Cleveland and I use his mouth. It is a happy time.

4 hours later we finished. Quagmire came by to get Cleveland because they had to go home so his wife wouldn't find him, and Batman stayed around. "Why didn't you leave with Fiona?" I decided to ask as I grabbed his hand. "Well I didn't want Fiona, I just let her join because you said sure, I only wanted you...and now Cleveland too." Batman smiles. "Awww that's so sweet Batman, I love you." I told him. "I love you too, Shrek, now get some rest. We have a busy day tomorrow."