Together

Kim Sunoo

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「warning」

Brief mention of suicidal thoughts

Sad sunoo 

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Then
Kim Sunoo
Age 16

Waking up Sunoo didn't feel too good. His chest felt hollow and his head felt floaty but not in the good way. He just felt...bad. He couldn't explain it. Nothing had happened, so he doesn't know why he feels this way.

Pushing himself out of his bed he moves sluggishly around his room feeling less than eager to get to school. Once he was finished getting ready his hand clasped around his door handle but he didn't pull it open. What were his chances that he could avoid going to school to sit and wallow away in his room, to let the dark dreary feeling consume him until there was nothing left? Honestly after living like this for over a decade Sunoo was tired. He was exhausted and ready to be done with life at the ripe age of sixteen.

'Keep going. Keep fighting' his wolf urges. It always said that when Sunoo felt this way. Despite not presenting yet Sunoo's wolf always showed up at times like this, more talkative than it should be. It was a nuisance sometimes, especially days like this when Sunoo wanted to just give up.

'I'm tired. I don't want to' he replies sadly. He could feel the tears well up, stinging at his eyes.

'Keep going' the wolf urges again. Sunoo sighs. His grip on the door knob tightens, holding it stationary for a moment before he's twisting and pulling the door open. He takes one step and then another.

'You can do this Sunoo. You can-' Sunoo's pep talk gets interrupted by his teenage brother sprinting down the hall but not before shoving him into a wall. Sunoo can't help the whimper that slips past his lips. He slaps a hand over his mouth trying not to sob out loud. It would only upset his mother, if you could even call her that. Alone on the cold floor Sunoo squeezes his eyes shut as he collects himself.

'Come on Sunnie. Deep breaths. Two deep breaths in, one deep breath out. There you go! Keep going ok? You're ok. I'm here...' the voice ringing in Sunoo's ears this time wasn't his wolf but a girl. A young girl, a girl who was taken from this world far too soon. Sunoos favorite person in the entire world. Her voice was the same slightly squeaky and bossy like he remembers but there was a sweetness to it showing how much she cared for him. Sunoo listens to the voice, letting it replay in his head over and over until it vanishes and he is left with nothing.

"I'm ok noona...I-I can do this," he whispers, his voice watery with pain. Pressing one hand to the wall for support Sunoo pushes himself up. He's a bit wobbly on his feet but eventually he finds the strength and takes a step forward and then another and before he knows it he's holding his head high as he walks out of the house.

His mind wanders as he walks to school. He focuses on the scenery around him. Sure Seoul doesn't have much to see past the blur of people and vehicles on the street but Sunoo finds a way to appreciate everything. The way the clouds hang in the sky, the woman busking in the streets, her gentle voice a complete contrast to the bustle of the early morning foot traffic.

Out of the corner of his eyes he spots a flower cart. The man whimsically moved around his stand setting up various beautiful flower arrangements. Sunoo can't help but walk up to it admiring the bright colors and alluring scents. He has always loved flowers since he was young. The colors, the scents, the texture of the petals under his fingertips.