Invisible

Marie - 21

A's/N: Enjoy :) 

The tears rolled down my cheek and dripped onto my neck. I breathed a little and tasted the salty bitter water on my mouth. The door swung open, catching me off guard. I unravelled myself out of my curled up position and slipped myself under the duvet. My mum walked in, her head looking out of the room and she was talking to someone. I thumbled the sheets and pulled my pyjamas on. It was all for nothing though because she turned around to see me slipping my left bruised arm out of the sleeve. I poked my head out of it, my hair brushing in front of my eyes.
"Marie? What's wrong?" her voice, surprisingly, showed a hint of worry. I wiped my eyes. I knew they would be bright red marks surrounding them, so what was the point in lying anymore? I looked at her and released my hands from my face. I opened my mouth and attempted to speak but only a little bit of spit left my tongue. She walked over to me,

"Marie?" she repeated again.

Carlotta sometimes reads out these words she reads about. They're always these really beautiful different words that nobody has ever heard of. I have one that'll describe this situation. Alexithymia. In Greek, it translates to, 'no words for emotion'. I guess I had that. I opened my mouth, trying to speak but all that came out was rasps of air. My mum cornered the bed and I managed to secure on my pyjama top before she trampled me with her vanilla scented hug.

"Sorry," I finally whispered.

"Why?" She looked more worried. I pointed over at my abandoned oxygen mask. Now that I was remembering the sweet oxygen that was being given to my body easily, I felt my heart pang through my chest faster than ever. It was like a woodpecker had entered my body and thought it was wood. Weird analogy but okay.

I slipped into bed, trying to hide that I wasn't wearing my trousers properly. I pulled the duvet over my stomach and soon my arms. My mum walked round the other side of the bed to pick up the discarded oxygen mask. She placed it briefly on my face,

"Marie," she backed away now, "I'm going to get a nurse, no more crying okay?" I just nodded.

She left the room again and I started to realise my legs were tingling. It was that sort of feeling you get when you swallow buckets of popping candy but in my legs. I realised what it was - cold. I pulled up my trousers and shoved my hands inside, hoping it would warm up.

It didn't.

Even though there was a heater blazing heat at 26 degrees, my body felt like I had just been dunked in the frigid rough sea that was crashing against the coast just down the road.

The door opened once again, this time my mum with a man dressed in a blue uniform,

"So what's the issue?"

"Her mask fell off, sorry I don't know how to adjust it again."

The man stepped over to me to put on my mask.

I mouthed, "Sorry." He just simply smiled at me awkwardly, obviously knowing why I was there in the first place. I relaxed my head on the pillow and reached the button on the side of the bed and pressed it hard. The upper part of the bed sloped upwards and I sat upright breathing in and out of the plastic mask slowly.

My mum began to speak once the nurse left,

"The doctors have ordered your dad to go back to his room, it's just down the hall. He told them what you said and a police officer is coming round to ask you some questions?"

"Like?"

"Well, what happened last night," she planted a small kiss on my forehead and got ready to leave again, "Do you want a drink?"

"Sure."

It's kind of weird that I'm here right now. No, not kinda, extremely. Yeah, because every 12-year-old spends her Friday afternoon in a hospital bed after being taken by someone the night before and left abandoned on a beach in the freezing cold. Totally normal. Well, what is the definition of normal? Who created the term normal? What did they base it on? What if I'm normal and everyone else is not normal?

I shut my eyes, hoping to block everything out, but once I told myself to forget about all the strange questions that invaded my mind I remembered what they were in the first place. I pressed the button and felt the bed slowly go back down to flat. I turned my head and peered out of the small window that looked over the town. I saw the sky clash with the sea further on the horizon. I propped my body up with my arm to get a clearer view but fell when I heard the door shut.

"Here, darling," she placed the rim of the plastic cup on my mouth and I lapped up the water like a cat drinking its milk. I slowly picked the cup out of her hands and sat back up.

"What time is it?" I asked and placed my water on the table beside me. My mum glanced at her wrist:

"It's quarter to two. Is it alright if I just go to see your dad?"

My eyes were fixated on the TV, I stared so hard that the colours merged together and formed a pool of blues and greens that took over my sight. The voice that was talking on the channel just sounded like a constant droning in my ear. I thumbled for the remote on the bedside table and picked it up. I pressed the plastic buttons and flicked through the channels. Interior designing, reality show, adverts, bake off, weather, news.

'News about the disappearance of a twelve year old girl in Plymouth.'

Oh god. Click.

'The kidnapping of school girl Marie Mayers.'

Press. Again?

'Girl, aged twelve,

What? Why was I so popular? Why was it such a big deal? Around 70,000 children in the UK go missing every year - why me? Plus I'd been found so why was it still being reported.

A photo of me flashed up on the screen. I cringed when I saw it, my hair was brushed in front of my eyes that had a little white sparkle in. It was a photo taken during the Spring term Half term that February just gone, when we went to France to go skiing. I noticed the background in it. I could see the restaurant that we ate at most night's entrance. I decided to stay on the news channel to see what they had to say about me.

"Last night, around 9 o'clock, Marie Mayers, a twelve year old school girl, was kidnapped by an unknown perpetrator. She was found this morning on Jennycliff beach, and was immediately taken to hospital." the news presenter announced. A blurry video of a grey sky with a damp beach and colourless sea appeared. I peered closely and noticed my body lying limp on the sea, half in the water and with sand all over me. My skin seemed to be a pale blue.'

"The police and hospital haven't informed us about anything else but we do know that Marie is breathing and well."

Okay, if you want to put it that way.

The news channel's music blared out of the speakers, implying that that section was over. Honestly, it's kinda offensive when your abduction is only worth a couple of minutes. I switched off the TV and just stared aimlessly at the wall in front of me. It was white. Can't really describe it anymore than that, honestly. I shut my eyes and tried to sleep.

Breathe, just breathe.

It will be okay, in the end.

That's why death exists.