Xavier : I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don't don't like them. That's not true... My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!
-
Tyler: Hey, Xavier , what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Xavier : What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Tyler: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Xavier : Can't really say I have.
Tyler: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Xavier : Sorry, Tyler. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.
-
Enid: You know, Tyler gives Xavier flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.
Wednesday: Okay.
*Later*
Wednesday: *gives Xavier flowers*
Xavier : ???
Wednesday: I don't know, I'm confused as well.
-
Xavier : What are you getting Enid for the holidays?
Wednesday: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.
Tyler: I'm getting Enid a divorce lawyer.
-
Enid: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Wednesday: I sleep with a knife.
Tyler: Both of you are pathetic.
Enid: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Tyler: Xavier .
-
Xavier : Well, Tyler and I finally did it!
The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*
Xavier : That's right... We kissed!
-
Tyler: Xavier is playing hard to get.
Tyler: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
-
Tyler: Bro-
Xavier : No, no, hold up, rewind.
Xavier : My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??
-
Tyler: I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Xavier : Wow. They sound stupid.
Tyler: But they're not. They're really smart actually. Just dense.
Xavier : Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... "Hey! I love you!"
Tyler: I guess you're right. Hey Xavier , I love you.
Xavier : See! Just say that!
Tyler: Holy fucking shit.
Xavier : If that flies over their head then, sorry Tyler, but they're too dumb for you.
Tyler: Xavier .
-
Tyler: Are we fighting or flirting?
Xavier : I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Tyler: Your point?
-
Xavier : Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
Tyler: Aww-
Xavier : With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!
-
Tyler: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Xavier : Okay.
Tyler: And make out during the scary parts.
Xavier : Th-
Xavier : The scary parts.
Xavier : Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
-
Xavier : *angrily presses Tyler against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Tyler: ...
Tyler: Are we about to kiss-
-
Lazy vibessss, remeber...reality is a illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold BYEEEEE!
