Hectic High

Chapter 3: Strange Feelings

I've always had a dislike for romance. Not because I have a low chance of experiencing it, but because it influences so many things, AKA romantacizing. Flowers, Dinner, Fancy Resaturants are all very romantacized.

My classmates in particular romantacize EVERYTHING. I'm not even exaggerating, they really do. If one of us sees someone talking to someone the opposite gender, they immediately ship them together. If you don't believe me, look at JeFa, it was made simply because me and Jesiah were spending lots of time together.

speaking of JeFa, remember when I said me liking the JeFa ship would soon change? Well, about mid or late 1st quarter, I realized whenever I talk to her - which I do everyday now - I get thrilled, I get strange feelings in my stomach, I feel myself... blushing, just strange feelings I've never felt before.

But something clicked in my head. These were signs and symptoms of.. liking someone. Well if I put it that way it sounds weird, but now it makes sense. That's probably why I talk to her everyday.

I don't really know why I like her. Sure, she's beautiful, smart, has a great personality, sweet, the whole shabang, but I know a lot of people like that, like Andi, and if those were the reasons why I like her, shouldn't I like Andi as well? Some things weren't adding up, if all of these were the case then it's either, something else is causing me to like her, or I didn't like her at all.

After some thinking I end up resorting to my friends to help - cut me some slack, they know more about this shit than me.

Aly Beycon

Farley Rodriguez: heluu

Clo Jason-Shaw

Farley Rodriguez: hellooo

Andi Constantino

Farley Rodriguez: hii

I was definitely going to regret telling the three of them since the JeFa ship was already pretty big, and I was just going to make it worse, but I need answer alright?

Andi Constantino

Andi Constantino: ???

Andi is the only one online right now, not complaining though, she is one of the wisest when it comes to these situations.

Andi Constantino

Farley Rodriguez: are you free right now?

Andi Constantino: yeah, why?

Farley Rodriguez: what if I supposedly, hypothetically, theoretically, like someone?

Andi Constantino: it's jesiah isn't it?

Farley Rodriguez: ...

it was a what if andi.

Andi Constantino: stop denying it, its pretty obvious

Farley Rodriguez: fine.

Andi Constantino: so you do like her?

Farley Rodriguez: that's what i was gonna ask you about

idk

Andi Constantino: well first, do you want to like her? like are you ok with liking her?

i don't wanna talk about something you don't like farley

...

In reality, no. As I already said, I've always had a dislike for romance and this was no exception. Though I was curious on what it felt like. It did genuinely look nice to be "romantic" with someone, and I wanted to see how it felt.

Andi Constantino

Farley Rodriguez: ye im good with that

Andi Constantino: alright then

so what im guessing is that you're not sure if you like her or not right?

Farley Rodriguez: thats correct

Andi Constantino: ah then i dont know

its really up to you and your feelings to finalize what you feel

and after all i dont really know how you feel about her so

Farley Rodriguez: ah

helpful as always

Andi Constantino: ikr

With that very helpful response I started thinking if I did like her and what would happen to me in the long-run if I did.

Obviously she doesn't like me back so what would that fact do to me in the future? Heartbreaks shouldn't be that bad right? After all every single one of my crushes rejected me and I never felt anything maybe this would be no different.

There might be no consequences if I do end up liking her, who knows maybe she does like me back, extremely unlikely but there's still a possibility.

Maybe there is, this is the first time I've ever liked someone at this age, maybe this would hit hard unlike the other rejections.

I'm scared to risk anything. I don't want to lose an opportunity but I also don't want to risk being heartbroken. If I was gonna be heartbroken.

At this point I was extremely unsure on what I felt, maybe I should just play it safe and say I don't like her, or maybe I should just let time do it's thing.

I never knew romance would be this confusing.

[Author's note: This chapter was painful to write for reasons I will not say. So if you see this chapter randomly get removed, it was probably from regret]

ᵃᵗ ᵏᵘⁿᵍ ⁱⁱˢᵃ ᵏᵃʸᵒ ˢᵃ ᵏᵃᵏˡᵃˢᵉ ᵏᵒ, ⁿᵈᵉ ⁱᵗᵒ ᵖᵃʳᵃ ᵏᵃʸ ⁱᵗˡᵒᵍ ᵃᵗ ⁿᵃᵏᵃ ᵐᵒᵛᵉ ᵒⁿ ⁿᵃ ᵃᵏᵒ