The Lonely Clover

Birthday

Another day.

It's just another day.

As I walk down the street, I notice the flea market is still open for a little while. I would have walked past it, but I hesitated after seeing a little shop for homemade baked goods, one small dessert holding my attention longer than the rest. One that drew my attention the most was a small but very sweet looking dessert.

It wouldn't hurt to take a look, right? After all....

As I walk closer, I see the small but pretty cupcake seemed to sparkle with how well designed it was, holding varying hues of pink all over it. I was so invested in how beautiful it looked that I totally missed the owner of this little store staring at me. I jumped at his voice when he asked me a question much closer than I was prepared for.

"Miss?"

My eyes shot up to the man and I hurriedly apologized, letting guilt overwhelm me as I tried to explain but failed to do so calmly. "I was just looking at this. I was wanting to get something today anyway. It's...so pretty..."

The man smiled before saying, "My my my, is it perhaps your birthday?" His question seemed to carry more of having already known than trying to find out for the first time.

I nodded shyly as I looked back to the small dessert.

"In that case, if you want to purchase this cupcake, I will give you something to go with it, on the house as a gift!"

I opened my mouth to politely decline, when he presented a short, white candle with streaks of gold and blue through it. I was speechless. "It's so pretty. The design reminds me of porcelain somehow but not quite." I comment.

The color of the candle seemed so familiar and brought warmth to my heart, but the sight of the small cake did the same. Like a memory I can't pull up. It doesn't matter, though. Warm hearts don't last and I've always been alone, anyway.

"It is said that this kind of candle can grant any one wish to any one lonely soul."

At this comment, I look into the gentleman's eyes to see him smiling at me while still holding out the candle.

Wishes don't come true. If they did, I wouldn't be alone even after trying so hard to just be accepted. But....I just can't....give up yet....it is, after all, my birthday.

I smiled back at the gentleman. "Thank you, Sir. I'll take it."

After I purchased my cupcake, taking the candle in hand, I had a sad but hopeful smile on my face as I walked away.

"Good luck, hon."

...............

The sound of silence welcomes me into my dark apartment. I wish I could do more with it, but at the same time, nothing lasts anyway, so why bother. Since moving out with the permission of my Aunt and Uncle who honestly couldn't wait for me to leave in the first place, that was the last bit of life I had around me. I put the cupcake on the counter with the candle next to it and start unwinding from my day.

Take a shower.

Wash my face.

Put on my pajama shirt.

No sounds at all. No laughter. No music. No warmth of any kind of relationships here. Just cold silence.

I walk back into the kitchen to grab water, when I look at the cupcake I'd left on the table and remember.

A wish, huh? A wish for a lonely soul...This is perfect for me then. Even if I never admit it outloud....

I walk closer to put the candle in the lone cupcake. I pulled a lighter out of the drawer, lighting the candle as tears began to well up and stream down my cheeks.

How could you think he loved you? Or that anyone could. You gave everything to keep people who didn't want you in their life in the first place. From best friends who never invited you to hang out at their girls' night parties, to boyfriends that wanted you but only when no one else was around.

With tears falling on the counter, I felt a solemn resolve flood my heart...

I wish I had a real family....even if it isn't by blood......I just don't want to be alone anymore. No matter who it was or even if it was just one person....I would do anything for them if I knew they cared for me at all.... I wish I was loved!

I closed my eyes and blew out the candle with shaky breath, but quickly opened my eyes with panic as the smoke began to twirl and rise around me.

It didn't dissipate but got brighter...and brighter????

Everything is so bright...and now there's wind??? I feel really light....Wait....

I look around and see that not only is the brightness coming from what I can now see as the sun in the sky, but the wind....I'M FREAKING FALLING?!?!?!

What is this? I don't want to look. I'm gonna die!

With that thought, I yell out "I can't die! NOT YET!"

As if the gods themselves heard my cry right as I was about to hit the ground, I was caught by a pair of strong arms with a loud "oof". It was a jolt I wasn't at all used to and I still covered my face for a minute before hearing "Hey, are you okay?!?!?!?"

That voice....sounds so loud....and familiar. Like the extreme loudness of it made me flinch a bit but also calmed me down.

I heard another voice "Asta, do you really think yelling at her after something like that would be smart?"

HOLD UP!

I peek out from between my fingers.

"Oh my....ASTA?!?!?!?"