The Lonely Clover

Fearful

The sheer amount of confusion currently swirling through my brain is enough to make anyone who is normal short circuit in only a moment. At least temporarily, right? Well, again I seem to not be like most people because all I can do is think. My brain is going at the speed of light trying to comprehend what the actual heck is going on right now.

"Y/n, you look really worried. Oh, maybe some pot potatoes will help you calm down!" Asta's words fell on deaf ears as Yuno and I continued to be silent.

I couldn't even speak. I barely even registered what he said or anything at all, which they both seemed to realize. So Asta took my hand to lead me back to the orphanage and Yuno walked beside us, silent as ever. Although he remained silent, he did hover fairly closer than usual, seemingly being an escort, but gently pushing me toward the orphanage when I walked in the wrong direction.

As we approached the door, a wave of fear ran over me. With nothing but puddles to confirm my shocking new appearance, I couldn't help feeling more terror than normal.

I can't go in there like this! All that kindness, the smiles, patience...it'll be gone. I'll be alone again.

I had stopped dead in my tracks, tears streaming down my face that managed to hold a sad smile.

"I can't Asta. I've lost so much already. I can't bear them to look at me with fear. I just got here, and I don't want everyone to hate me like in my world. I don't want to be a freak again." Tears ran down my cheeks like waterfalls.

Yeah, it might be shameless. I am probably a crybaby. I don't want to be turned away again. Especially by them. I really want them to like me still. Even with Yuno standing so close, this only made it more terrifying since he hadn't said anything the entire time.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hands and began to take a step backwards. Except...

"Asta, you need to let go." I told him. I hadn't looked in their eyes at all since they found me. It felt like too much.

"Like hell am I going to let go! You're my friend and whoever wants to call you a freak is not only horrible but blind!" I gave him a look of confusion.

"I don't understand what you mean..." I mumbled.

"Y/n." Yuno took a step closer to me. When he didn't continue, I forced myself to look at him. Just for a moment. I didn't expect to see a small smile directed toward me. "Asta isn't smart.."

"HEY!"

"But he is right about this." My eyes widened. I could only open and shut my mouth a few times before finally letting out a small chuckle of disbelief.

"I'm an idiot. I forgot." I started, wiping the last bit of my tears away. "You guys are working toward being the Wizard King. Meeting you both.." I smiled at them brightly through the last bits of teardrops. "I am so glad I get to be by your side and see how you started out. You may not see it, but you both are amazing. You aren't even Magic Knights yet but I'm so proud of you and happy to be here!"

Asta's face is red again, but he still held a firm grip on my hand. "READY?!"

"Asta, you are still way too loud." Yuno commented while rolling his eyes.

"READY!" I exclaimed with equal passion and excitement. And loudness.

I walked through the doors with them with a little bit of anxiety until, "So pretty!"

I looked up at little Aruru who smiled at me, looking awestruck. I couldn't help but smile at her. She didn't call me a freak. She didn't say I looked weird. Even if others do say that, and it will happen eventually I'm sure, I can keep going from this. I will push forward.

"Thank you, sweet Ru!"