Dead Heart Longing

14. The Mystery in Mayhem

Nur let Mikal escort her back to the hotel. She wasn't sure what had happened, but she could tell Gesar wanted Mikal to leave. Mikal wasn't a stranger to her. She had known him for years, and they had been friends for almost half of that time. Yet, there was something unfamiliar about him. The way he tried to dissuade her from visiting the castle ruins grated on her nerves. His reaction had been very different when she talked to him over the phone. She wondered what changed and why was he now adamant that she should leave Tibet and forget about the castle.

"Are you feeling better?" Mikal said. Concern laced his tone, and worry lines etched his face.

Why, then, could she not feel the sincerity in his words? "No, not really." Se lied and touched her forehead as if feeling dizzy. "I think I'm going to call it a day. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better."

"Yes, maybe."

The look he gave her showed how little he believed her. But then, she had never been a good liar. "You don't need to babysit me, really," she said as he tried to follow her into the room. "I'm just going to rest for a while." She gave him what she hoped was a tired smile.

Mikal didn't say anything else and left. Nur could tell there was something else on his mind, and she had a feeling he would return to the castle. She hoped Gesar already did whatever it was that he wanted to do. She would have to go back there and ask him what it was. Until then, she might as well take this opportunity and catch up on much-needed sleep.

#

"That makes no sense. Why would he still be there?" It was the hundredth time Zhumu had asked the question. Yet, neither her mother-in-law nor her brother-in-law had any satisfactory answer.

"Sister," Jiacha said, carefully picking his words, "maybe there is something we don't know. Don't jump to the wrong conclusion. Gesar loves you. Everyone knows that."

Zhumu's eyes filled with tears, and she closed them as if willing them away. She considered herself a strong woman. Well aware of her husband's duties, she had never complained once. No matter how often he was away from home, she remained steadfast in her belief that the world needed him more than she did. This time though, she couldn't help but feel betrayed—cheated.

"Daughter, as much as it pains me to admit it, Jiacha is right," Yelga said. The pity in the older woman's eyes broke Zhumu's heart more than the fact that Gesar was choosing not to come home. "We only know he is staying at Deyu, but we don't know why. It might not be because of Maisa, as you fear. Maybe there is some other threat we are yet unaware of."

The words made sense, but Zhumu's heart refused to accept them. "I wish to go to Deyu myself. The demon king is dead, and Maisa has taken over the throne. There is no reason for Gesar to be there. With that woman." She hated to feel jealous, but Maisa was once meant to be Gesar's concubine. Why else would he stay in her palace if not for some lingering feelings?

"I advise against it," Yelga tusked. "You must remain in the castle, or else Gesar's uncle might start his campaign to take over the throne. The courtiers are becoming restless as they, too, wait for their king to return. Maybe Jiacha should go to Deyu and find out what's happening there."

"I agree with stepmother," Jiacha said. "I can leave at once and bring my brother home."

At Yelga's suggestion, Zhumu saw relief in Jiacha's eyes. She understood their fears. They wanted to protect Ling, but she wanted to protect her heart. Still, how could she act selfishly when Gesar had sacrificed so much for his people and his country?

She was a mere girl of sixteen when she met Gesar. He was visiting Hor and stayed at their palace. At the time, she didn't know him well and had only heard of his heroic deeds through palace gossip. Back then, she thought people exaggerated, but meeting him changed her mind. He was everything they said and more. Her heart had belonged to him since the day she set her eyes on him.

At the age of twenty, Gesar wasn't interested in finding a wife. His heart was at his next battlefield. He was always thinking of the next monster to slay. It had taken Zhumu a while to convince him of her devotion and undying love. But even then, he hadn't made any proclamation of love. Marrying Hor's princess had made political sense, and that's all their marriage was to him.

Their first few years together were pure bliss. A half-smile appeared on Zhumu's face as she reminiscence the past. Though he never claimed to love her, he sent Maisa away as soon as they returned to Ling. At the time, it hadn't mattered but in hindsight, sending half-demoness back to Deyu might have been the wrong move. The partying was amicable, or so it seemed, but there hadn't been a just cause for it. It was no surprise that the demon king rebelled against them. The rebellion came years later, though. Maybe Maisa had nothing to do with it or with Gesar's current absence.

As if knowing what Zhumu was thinking, Yelga said, "Maisa might have expected to become Gesar's concubine once, but it was before he even met you. Besides, it wasn't a love match. And I assure you, the demon king never cared for his daughter enough to wage war because of her. His reasoning was nothing but evil in his heart."

"I know." Zhumu sighed deeply. "You're right, and it has already been years since Maisa left Ling." It had been twenty years, to be precise. But what could she do when her heart said there was something wrong and Gesar's stay in Deyu wasn't an innocent coincidence? "Then you will go, brother, and bring him home?" she said, pleading with Jiacha.

He took her hands in his and promised to bring Gesar back no matter what. Only then, Zhumu could breathe easily. She knew she could trust his promise because he loved his half-brother. And also, the Nagi princess was their witness and would hold him accountable. She just hoped he didn't take long. Twelve years of separation was more than her heart could endure.

#

Nur opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. The emotional turmoil brought on by the dream had her soul in its grasp. She felt tears streaming down her cheeks. Sending Jiacha to bring Gesar back had been the worst mistake of her life—the one she would regret forever.