frank iero one-shots

✨staples✨

A/N: a quick shoutout to metaleaterz on AO3 who wrote the one and only "That Was Easy" (which I still haven't read dispite telling myself I will) this probably isn't much like it but it felt weird to write without some sort of acknowledgement. Go read it if you haven't!

//frankxNNNF
//revenge era
//flirty coworkers

It was about a couple of hours into my shift. I was leaning against the front register, reading whatever book I was into that week, glancing at the clock over and over. It was 3 O'clock, usually, my coworker Frank's shift would've started. He was a younger part-time guy who came in on weekdays to fund his band's shows. He said he only worked there to steal paper and make flyers but sometimes I'd think he secretly liked it there. I remember catching him sniffing the paper fresh out of the printer every now and again. He was a weird dude. I thought he was kind of cute though.

I heard the chime of the front door and looked up to see Frank walking in completely soaked from his head to his chest. His hair dripped water onto his face and down his neck.

"What happened to you?" I asked with a laugh. He huffed and a few drops of water flew off his nose. He left wet footprints in the carpet as he walked his way behind the counter.

"Some teenagers think they're very funny," He said. I raised an eyebrow for him to continue but he didn't. He glanced behind us at the copy room/storage area. "Do you know if we have any spare uniforms in the back?"

"Nah, I think we just get those online. You could maybe find an umbrella?" I joked. He laughed before disappearing into the back room.

"I'll try to think of that in the future!" He called. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"What happened anyway?" I asked. There was quiet followed by the sound of boxes and plastic bins being opened and shut.

"It's nothing that crazy," He said. "Ah-Ha! I found something." He stepped back into the room wearing a red polo shirt that was, by the looks of it, two sizes too big. Normally, Frank wore a black undershirt to cover his tattoos (most of them at least, he had some on his neck and hands that he didn't even bother with) but since it was soaked he had to let it go for the day.

"You think management will let you get away with those for the day?" I gestured to his arms. He shrugged.

"What they don't know won't hurt 'em," He smiled and picked up a box to go stock the stationary section.

"Okay," I threw my hands up. "Just try not to drip everywhere."

"Will do!" He smiled.

As he walked away I noticed a piece of bright red latex stuck to the bleached side of his head. I figured it must've come from a balloon. I thought about telling him but decided not to. I didn't want to embarrass him.

-_-_-

A couple of days later while I was walking through the parking lot on my way into work I saw something weird. A couple of kids were climbing up onto the roof of the pet store next to the Staples on the strip of stores. I didn't think that much of it at the time. Kids hung out on roofs all the time in that part of town. So, I just went about my business as usual and opened shop.

A few hours had passed. I was making copies for a customer when Frank walked into the copy room with a proud smile on his face holding an umbrella.

"You took my advice to heart, huh?" I asked.

"Those kids never saw it coming!" He threw the umbrella in the air and caught it in a triumphant fist pump before going to clock in. I choked out a laugh.

"You are a grade-A dork, Y'know that?" I smiled.

"C'mon you were a little impressed," He nudged me. I rolled my eyes and carried the copies I was making to the front desk.

"Sorry for the wait! Here you go ma'am," I handed the copies over to the customer. She glanced down at the small stack in front of her with a sour face.

"Um, There should be more," She said with a look on her face. "I ordered a hundred copies."

"Oh, I'm so sorry ma'am, let me check back on the order," I apologized and pulled her order up on the monitor next to me. I sucked my teeth a bit. "It says here you only ordered ten copies."

"That's ridiculous! Why would I only order ten copies?" She raised her voice.

"You must've made a typo," I said through a fake smile. I was trying to keep my voice kind while my eye was definitely twitching.

"Are you trying to call me stupid?" She asked. "You think I don't know how to type a number? You arrogant kids are unbelievable, I can't believe anyone thought you were competent enough for this job!"

"I'll just go and print some more copies then," I said. I tried my best not to run on my way to the back room.

As soon as the door shut behind me and grabbed the pillow that I had kept back there and screamed into it as hard as I could.

"So that's why that's back here!" Frank joked. He had been sitting in there the entire time instead of doing his job. "I just thought you took naps all the time."

"'You think I don't know how to type a number?' NO! No I don't, you fucking idiot!" I cursed as I slammed the buttons on the copier.

"You okay?" Frank asked me. He had a slightly worried look on his face.

"A very kind, valued customer seems to think that 100 people need to hear about her bake sale," I said, trying to maintain composure.

"Ooo, We should crash it," He suggested. I laughed a bit.

"Normally I would jump at that chance but it's at a church so," I shrugged.

"So?" He asked. "That's even better." I thought about it for a second.

"Okay," I smiled. "Just don't tell HR."

He smiled at me for a second before getting up to leave the room. "I'll be right back!"

He stepped out of the copy room and left me to my own devices. I stood there and counted to 10 over and over till all 90 copies were done. I took another deep breath in anticipation before taking the rest of the copies to the front again.

"Sorry for the inconvience ma'am," I said. She rolled her eyes at me. I rang her up. "That'll be twenty ninety-five," I looked at her expectantly.

"The website said it would only be two dollars?" She said bitterly.

"Yes but that was when you ordered ten copies, one hundred costs twenty," I said plainly.

"So you want me to pay for your mistake?" She asked.

Just as I opened my mouth to say something, Frank walked in from outside. I gave him a confused look. He just winked while giving me the 'okay' hand gesture. I looked back to the customer.

"You're right, I'm sorry," I said, fed up. "I'll just charge you for the ten then. " I slid the stack of papers across the counter. She looked pleased with herself as she placed two wrinkled dollars on the counter. With a smug smile she took the copies in her arms and walked out the store.

I was going to ask Frank what he did when we heard a shreik from outside. Now, Frank was the one looking pleased. I ran to the display window to see what had happened. The woman who was just inside stood on the sidewalk completely drenched with wet papers scattered around her.

"Oh my God, Frank you didn't!" I gasped.

"I didn't do anything," He said defensively before grinning. "The roof kids, not so much."

"You're evil!" I smiled and gave him a bump to the shoulder.

"But am I still a grade-A dork?" He asked with a stupid grin.

"Let's not push it," I said. I looked back out the window to see her scolding the kids and saying something about calling their mothers. "Y'know, she's probably gonna come back and demand I make more for free, right?"

"I've got it covered," He said. I raised an eyebrow. He walked over to the door just as the woman was walking back in and flipped the "Open" sign around in her face. I tried to hold back a laugh as I watched her turn bright red.

"We're gonna get fired." I smiled. He just smiled and shrugged.