what i never told you - jj maybank [discontinued]

[nine]

Kie dropped by the library the next day while I was putting books back in their rightful place. She filled me in on what went down that morning which included a visit from Sheriff Peterkin at the Chateau. She was gone with only a few light threats, but John B was still spooked.

"He texted you after?" I asked.

"Yeah. I told them we should meet up here. Talk about what went down last night."

My anxiety spiked at the idea of seeing JJ after the party. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, but it didn't help much.

Kie must've noticed something wrong with me as she waved her hand in front of my face. "Don't go silent on me, Shay. What are you thinking?"

"Don't really... wanna talk."

"Well, what else is new?" she said with a slight laugh.

I cracked a smile, but corrected myself, saying, "Don't wanna talk... to JJ." At Kie's confusion, I continued. "Last night was... scary. I don't like what he did. And- And I don't like that no one told me. About the gun. No one told me about the gun."

"I'm sorry, Shay. I just wanted to protect you."

"Yeah, everyone does," I said quickly, a little too loud. I took a calming breath and elaborated. "Everyone just wants to protect me all the time. I-I appreciate it, because sometimes I need help. But I just... Sometimes I just wanna be normal. Not the quiet one who is just along for the ride."

Kie sighed and stopped my hands from moving to grab more books. "I hate to be the one to break it to you, Shay, but you aren't normal. Like, at all. In the best way imaginable. You're not just along for the ride. We like having you around because you're the voice of reason when we wanna go off the rails. Well, you and Pope." I laughed lightly. "You're important to us, Shay. Never doubt that."

"JJ always said no secrets amongst pogues."

Kie nodded.

"No secrets amongst soldiers of fortune either."

Kie smiled and held up her pinky which I intertwined with my own. "No secrets amongst soldiers of fortune," she repeated.

Not long after, the boys arrived and the four of them settled into the young adult reading nook at the back of the building. Though it was a nice space, it was painfully unused. I told Ros where I was going before joining them, taking up a spot on the beanbag chair beside Kie where she was lightly hitting a pair of bongos.

JJ lounged across from us. I could feel his eyes on me, but pretended to ignore it. Pope was on the edge of the room, running his fingers across the book spines lining the walls. At the center of the room, there was a huge, fake tree. Below it stood John B, his arms resting on a low-hanging branch.

When I finally settled in, John B broke the comfortable silence. "Look, I'm calling it off," he said. "Peterkin said, if I stay out of the marsh, she'll help me with DCS."