Let's Play Pretend! 🤍 (Completed)✅

19-{Friendship or love?😞}

Arshita's Pov

I say I don't believe in love but that's not really true....I really think that love exists....I just don't think it will ever exist for me! I've never really had much luck in love...because somehow it always left me with pain, anger and remorse! And I know those really aren't the words a person would ever use to describe the feeling of love....but that's just how it is for me!

I've been through many experiences which made me not to believe in this feeling called love! And the very first of those experiences is the separation of my parents.....when actually I always thought that they both were crazily in love with each other! But the truth was far different than what I used to see and then another one comes with Abhishek....becuase that was first time I'd ever given my heart to someone thinking that atleast he could be someone who would value it....but here we are!

And now after all these years of hating this emotion....when I thought that there could be a chance for me atleast once in this life! It turned out to be my best friend....who is now in love with someone else! And that he has been hiding it all inside him while dating her in secret! It broke my already broken heart once again. And the worst part was that I knew it was my fault this time....I was the one who sent Ishan to Shriya in the first place!

And then again leaving all this aside, whatever had happened last night between me and Shubman had been messing up with my mind, I just didn't had the energy to understand all that was happening in my life right now, because no matter how much I thought about it the only conclusion I came upto was that we all were pretty much fucked up in our lives, the three of us....who had these rules to not fall for each other and also not keeping any secrets were all broken! We'd ended up doing exactly what we were afraid of. Hurting each other because of this so called fucked up feeling, love!

Shubman had always been the flamboyant and clingy kind of best friend, but that never made me think that he could actually be in love with me! Yes, he'd always been there for me whenever I needed someone, when I felt lonely, when I was heartbroken, when I was going through family issues or just anything and everything.....Shubman has been a part of my life in all those moments....in all the good and the bad moments! But I never actually realized all this until now because I had been so selfish.....because I just thought about my heart and my feelings...Now when I recall him talking about the one he's been in love with I could totally get where he was coming from and I could actually understand it all because it was the same case with me....I'd been in one sided love all this time too and had been trying to hide my feelings for Ishan!

I just sighed as I looked at the frame kept on my desk as I was sitting in my office, I picked up the frame as it was a photo of me and Shubman while I kept looking at it while caressing it slowly as I just murmured, "I'm sorry Shub! I can't do this to you.....I don't wanna lose you! I've always ended up drifting apart with the person who loved me....and that is the reason that I won't return your feelings!"

I just shook my head as I kept the frame back and looked around when I saw Shubman finally arriving as he was walking towards his cabin and definitely didn't looked like his usual self and also kind of tired and hungover....he must've drank last night!

"I have to do this!" I murmured as I got up as I immediately made a cup of coffee and walked upto his cabin, I took a deep breathe as I slowly opened the door a bit and peeped into his cabin while he was sitting there on his chair with his head in his hands, he looked up as I slowly knocked on the door and we had an eyelock for a moment as he looked away after a few seconds and I walked in as I came and forwarded the coffee towards him while he kept looking down silenlty.

"You look like you needed this to sober up!" I said slowly taking the chair in front of him as I sat and he just sighed while running a hand through his hair while I kept looking at him as he asked almost in a murmur, "What do you want me to do?"