Let's Play Pretend! 🤍 (Completed)✅

21-{I don't wanna hate you!💔}

Shubman's Pov

"Are you happy now?" I asked while gritting my teeth looking towards Arshita who was trying not to cry while she still stood in her place after Ishan had left running after Shriya, I just couldn't understand what to do or expect more after all that had happened because of this pretend game. And moreover about my own feelings with which I'd been playing pretend for literally so many years just wishing that one day....maybe one day I'll be able to get back the same love from the person I've loved for all this years unconditionally.

Isn't it crazy? Isn't it crazy how we can put so much effort into one person who doesn't show the same energy, it hurts...it really does, when you just keep lying to yourself hoping it will get better but in reality its just getting worse. You're getting tired of it but you just keep trying knowing that you're gonna hurt yourself more the day that one person say they don't love you the same way. Its just like that you're that kind of person who fights for what you want but you never get it, you just keep trying and trying to step back or just leave them alone, but yet you keep going back to them, but this time.....it was enough!

Enough for me to be selfish and step back for real for my sake.....for my heart...for my feelings! Something inside me was telling me that I couldn't be a part of this anymore, it was gonna hurt for sure but maybe this was for the better. For me and her too! Because I was done getting hurt at this point and for once....just for once I wanted to be selfish and keep myself and my needs first!

"You think so?" Arshita said almost in a murmur and I looked at her coming out of my thoughts as she was still standing there looking down, "Yeah I think so! Isn't this what you wanted to happen...Its all gone according to your plan! You broke Abhishek by using Shriya who was never at fault and now you've ruined Ishan too! Maybe I was crazy too... for agreeing that your plan was awesome....that you were doing all this because you'd been hurt! But you know what....midway through all this I realised that we were nothing but some toxic people who were ruining each other's lives! Specially you who was blinded by revenge on your first love because you couldn't fucking digest the fact that he got over you and liked someone else when you were still stuck over some petty feelings" I said as I walked upto her angrily and stood in front of her.

"And after all this when an idiot like me confessed his real feeling to you...you suddenly thought that love was nothing but bullshit! When someone genuinely loved you, you tried to push them away and always ran after the people who were pushing you away! Maybe now you'll know how I felt Arshu! How I felt all this time being by your side pretending that I nothing for you in my heart.....pretending that I was okay with you not loving me back....pretending that you were always right...I've been playing this fucking game of pretend my whole life and....what hurts the most is having to pretend that none of this hurts when it is all fucking killing me on the inside" I said and Arshita let out a shivering sigh while still looking down when I grabbed her by her arms and pulled closer as she finally looked at me.

"I know...and you're right! Now I know how you felt all this time! I deserve this! You guys can turn your back on me, because I only know how to hurt people.....I don't deserve any of your love Shub...Ishan was right...I'm despicable! You have all the reasons to hate me" Arshita said with tears flowing down her face and I just shook my head saying, "I don't hate you! I'm just disappointed, you turned into everything you said you'd never be! You're not the person I fell in love with anymore......Because in this moment I feel like I'll be better off without you! You've hurted me so much when I tried to do nothing but just stay by your side, and Arshu being hurt by someone you love is the worst feeling ever"

"I know! You know I realised something last night....my real feelings! But now I know I don't deserve any of you....I'm meant to be alone! I'm sorry Shub! I'm so sorry! At some points I also wanted to stop all this.....I know it was hurting all of us! And I'm the reason behind it....I wanted to end this game after last night....I wanted to tell you guys everything and make it all right for once, can you believe me?" Arshita asked while holding my hands and I kept looking at her as I shook my head slowly saying, "Why did you wanted to stop it? Because you loved Ishan? To stop him from going back to Shriya? I don't know what to believe anymore!"