[ work in progress ]

{12}

patrick spends weeks mulling it over. he listens to the voicemail a dozen times over.

he finally makes a decision, and is more than anxious when he even thinks about telling pete.
——

patrick is sat on the couch, flipping his phone back and forth between his hands.

"whatcha doin'?" pete joins him on the sofa, smiling at him.

patrick smiles, absently, shrugging at pete.

everyone else has gone out for the night, and the boys were left to themselves. pete had just stepped out of the shower, having left patrick to himself for forty minutes. aside from the dogs— chloe on the couch with him and dexter laid in the floor with his toy.

"mind if i turn on the tv?"

"no, petey. quiet though, please?"

"course."

when the tv comes on, pete is quick with the volume button. he snuggles close to patrick who continues to flip over his phone, leaning his head against pete's.
——

the night moves slowly for patrick. his body feels weak and the pit in his stomach only grows.

when pete asks about dinner, patrick nods.

when pete chuckles and asks what he wants, patrick mumbles something about chicken or hamburger or... pete isn't quite sure what was said.

so pete makes hamburger helper. (patrick was gladly his helper.)

while they eat, patrick still thinks.

when pete asks once again what's wrong, patrick sighs, letting go of his fork and putting his bowl aside.

"did i upset you?"

patrick shakes his head. "no, petey, you didn't."

"are you sure? what's wrong?"

"i've been tryin' to think of a way to tell you. it's been making me incredibly anxious... but, i think i want to see my dad."

"oh."

"please don't be upset—"

pete shakes his head, hand placed carefully on the boy's shoulder. "no, baby. no, no- i'm not- just..." he sighs. "i don't think that you should. but, if you want to see him, we can go tomorrow after school."

"visiting hours are between twelve and two."

pete nods. "okay, so we'll skip or we'll leave early."

"thank you, petey. it's a lot to ask, i know."

"not at all, honey. it's okay, it'll be okay." pete kisses patrick's cheek. "let's finish up and go lie down, yeah?"

patrick agrees, but only ends up picking at his dinner until pete's finished.
——

patrick thought the night couldn't get any slower than earlier, but he always surprises himself.

laid in bed, patrick stares at the ceiling as the muted credits flash a slow light throughout the bedroom.

pete is fast asleep next to him, patrick envies him. he's sure pete is worried too. but, his anxieties never seemed to keep him up. not while patrick was around anyway.

checking the time only made everything slower, too, and patrick loathes it. he glances at the clock, bright red numbers proudly tell him it's three in the morning.

he tries to sleep for four hours, glancing back to notice it's only ten past now.

groaning, he pulls himself out of bed, doing everything to distract himself. he plays games (mostly on pete's phone; his games were better.), colors and scribbles in a coloring book pete seems to have forgotten about. he writes out his thoughts, hell he even jerks off to tire himself out; tucked in the corner, making sure pete wouldn't see him if he woke up, even if he could hear.