the one that got away

✯

I indulge in my self destructive tendencies
In hopes that i'll feel something;
Anything.

Numb is what i am right now.
A void fills my heart and swallows me whole.

I try to grasp the last string of hope I have left in hopes that it will hold long enough until the void closes so I don't get lost in it

But the string is weak and thin;

And my hands are tender and soft;

For I have only learned to wipe away tears;mine and more
And I have only learned how to fight with words; Harsh and sharp.

For I have never needed to escape a fire before.

Because the fire resides in me and I've never feared it.

I've never been taught how to escape a fight;
For my mind is constantly in one with itself.
And I've become accustomed to it.

I've never been taught how to climb a tree in order to save myself one day from drowning in a flood.
For I already am drowning and beyond salvation.