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February 22, 2018

I tried to call Melinda today, and she still isn't answering me. I swear, sometimes that woman is still a little girl.

The least she could do is answer my call and talk to me. I know she's upset. Maybe she has a right to be. I do have a tendency to put my nose into other people's business. But surely Melinda's business is mine, too. I'm her mother.

And this most recent boyfriend of hers was a specimen. Brian with an I. I knew I didn't like him when she was first telling me about him, and when she told me she was thinking of moving him in I told her I didn't think it was a good idea. Introduce me to the mother who'd have had a different opinion and I will give her a piece of my mind as well.

I'll just keep trying but I am moving past irritation and into real hurt about this business. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut just to keep the peace.


March 2 2018

I found my old diary tonight, the one I got for Christmas when I was just a girl. I thought it would be a pleasure to re-read what I had written. Oh, Little Ruth, what silly things did you have to write about?

I found this letter tucked into the pages, and I wrote that I had found it going through my brother's things when he was moving away after getting married.

I remember the letter, of course. I remember knowing Annie's secret, and never telling a soul. Royal and I have never spoken of it, not even once—not least because if I mentioned it he'd know I had stolen his private correspondence.

But now I am shaken deeply. I suspect things I have never suspected before. I'm scared.

Or maybe there is a part of me that has never wanted to wonder too much or ask any questions. There is a part of me that is still a child with no choice to trust that my elder brother was telling me the truth.

Then there is another part of me that is an old, wise woman who has seen connecting threads she wishes she could unsee.

The date of this letter. Annie disappearing. That night. Francis.

I can't put into words what I am afraid of. I'm just a paranoid old woman who doesn't know what to do.


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