things i write when im sad

mud

Trigger warning: SH

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You took my heart and swore to protect it, you took my soul and promised to mend it; But now i'm here, drowning in my tears because you were just like everyone else. Obsessed with drugs, alcohol, and most of all sex. That's all you wanted from me isn't it? My body, my vulnerability. Well i gave it and made myself into a liability. You made me think you loved me, but now you wont let me be. It's all "My ex" this and "My ex" that as if i left you, but baby... I would've never left. Not ever. For you were the first i truly loved, the first i wanted to spend my life with but no. You didn't want me. You didn't need me and here i sit alone with my thoughts, relapsing over and over because you decided i wasn't enough. I want to scream my lungs out and stop trying to fix my broken heart but all i can do is think about where to start. I loved you, but now i hate you an i can't stand the thought of you. You killed my pride and now i hide behind the walls i have built. You ruined me and my life, got me fired up for love and threw water on the flames. "I wasn't ready" you said but you started the relationship, why lead me on when you could have been honest. Why drag me through the mud?