dancing on bones (our souls of iolites and emeralds)

Chapter 1

con·trol

/kənˈtrōl/

(1). determine the behavior or supervise the running of

(2). the power to influence or direct something and/or someone's behavior or the course of events.

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Uncontrollable is where you came from, when you came from, and who your parents were. It is the direction of the wind and where it blows. The weather, and if it will rain, shine, or hail, and when. Uncontrollable is the inevitable death awaiting us all at the end on the very last page. It is the time that takes its toll and slowly saps us of our strength and slips through our fingers.

Uncontrollable is intangible; something that is out of our reach and beyond our mortal hands. We cannot reach the uncontrollable and we cannot control it simply because it is uncontrollable.

Uncontrollable is rage, dark and visceral. Uncontrollable is envy. Envy of people, of objects, of concepts.

Uncontrollable is finding love.

Uncontrollable is being hurt by love.

Uncontrollable is the way his father flaunted his brother and cast him aside when he had his next son, a newer, better toy to play with. Not learning to love his children until the damage had long been done.

It is the bitter words from his mind (they will not leave him, not truly) and the anger that consumes him. Uncontrollable is the way his heart loves and hates all at once.

Uncontrollable is hearing everything and doing nothing. Uncontrollable is hearing a sexual assault victim cry for help, and seeing a homeless man on the streets. When his heart breaks and he doesn't know what to do.

Uncontrollable is the spiral of madness (of passion, of joy) that he spins through as feelings of exultation and love replace vast emptiness. Uncontrollable is friendship

Uncontrollable is his powers.

Uncontrollable is fear.

Uncontrollable is the unknown.

Uncontrollable is not even remembering how he meets his end, but rather, the aftermath.

//

Control is who you are, the person you want to become, and how hard you work to get there. It is the wind we use for energy when the windmills turn. The way we dress and prepare for the weather if it's cold or hot and whether or not we become wet beneath the rain or dry with the help of a raincoat. Control is the story we write until the very last page. It is the way we spend our time until we draw our very last breath.

We can seize the controllable; something we can grab, something our mortal hands can change. We love the controllable because it is something we understand.

Control is the choice to listen to the music or to change the song, the way we blink and pull away from the unsettling darkness in a bully's tempting eyes. It is the decision to not partake in the dance and keep one's head as everyone falls under a spell and becomes a slave to passion. Because he is above primal attractions such as lust. Because he is smart.

Control is choosing to love.

Control is choosing to leave.

Control is accepting that there are things he can not control. It is accepting his humanity, his flaws, his grief for a life he would never have. Control is the awareness that he is not okay, and seeking help.

Control is finishing college. It is becoming a lawyer and locking away the scum of the Earth because he knows that he, of all 6.9 billion people in the world, can do it best. Because he knows human nature better than anyone.

Control is choosing to forgive his family, and choosing to love his friends.

Control is knowing with absolute certainty that he smiled a bitter, mirthless smile when he reached his end, even if he couldn't remember.

Heh...he had always been a bit of a control freak, hadn't he?

//

Uncontrollable is rebirth.

Controllable is choosing what to do with a second chance.

A/N

A bit of a weird crossover, I'm aware,  but I was [re]reading the Harry Potter Series the other day and the way everyone treats Harry made me angry-sad and I thought "oh my gosh, he really needs someone on his side" and for some reason, I thought of Saiki Kusuo, as he is one of my biggest hyper fixations, and because he would ace politics and also I can just see him being really scornful of Dumbledore, Pure-Blood Culture, and the Wizarding World as a whole and that amuses me.

I aged him up a bit (he is about 28) and this IS post canon. My intention is to have him be a bit more mature going into this mess. While this isn't intended to be a particularly funny story, I think I'll attempt to add some humor through Kusuo's sarcasm and dry wit. Literally any line will be in character if it is snarky, somewhat out-of-pocket, and slightly concerned.

I love you! Bye!