Please don't blame me.

Part 2 - Shadow.

Buckys pov

3 months. It's been three months since I let her get taken, again. I knew I shouldn't have let her go. I shouldn't have believed her when she said she'd find a way back to me.

The only thing keeping me going is Alfie, knowing he's still here and okay. He's been exhausted a few times and just lay there, but every single time he's been breathing. There's been a few flickers in his eyes when he's been turned against me for a split second. He's always snapped out of it though, at least I know my girls holding on.

I walk into the living room where everyone else is. Anywhere is better than being cooped up in y/n's room. "How you doing pal?" Steve asks me. "I'm fine." I tell him.

"Do you have any leads yet?" I ask the room not waiting for a response out of Steve. "Nothing, we can't find her anywhere." Tony speaks up. "Damnit!" I shout as I slam my hand on the table. "We'll find her Bucky. She will be okay. She told us she will find a way out and if we don't get to her first you better trust that she will." Nat tries to reason with me.

I make eye contact as I clench my jaw out of annoyance. "Don't you think she would have left already? Don't you think if she could she would have?" I ask the room looking around. "We have to trust her to find a way while we can't Bucky." Wanda jumps in. 

"Well I'm done waiting. Id rather find her now before her dead body shows up on the doorstep!" I shout at the room. "I hate to say it, but I agree with Barnes over here. She said she will get out once they fix it and she's not here. Meaning they can't fix the problem or she can't get out! We can't just abandon her. We have to get her out!" Loki sides with me.

"I don't have a plan. I can't think of a plan. I don't have any leads I can't think of a plan if I don't have any clue where she is!" Tony shouts. "We have to do something! Anything!" I express.

There's no way I can just sit here and wait anymore, the guilt of not having her here yet is killing me as it is. The tension in the room grows as everyone feels guilty for not finding her yet. But we have to do something to try.

~~~

Y/n's pov

I feel me heart sink and a pit form at the bottom of my stomach from hearing his words. 'Kill the Winter Soldier'. I don't want to imagine what he's planning to do to force me into doing that, surely he knows I won't just waltz in there and kill him under my own free will.

~~~

Pierce gave me a drug of some form to make me drowsy so I didn't fight the agents or the medical team. We are all gathered in the med bay, I'm assuming this has something to do with his experiment.

I'm sat on the edge of the bed, the horrid combat suit still on. My suit hood is down and my head pushed forward in a slump position.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Pierce give the man in the lab coat a nod. I then feel a sharp pain at the top of my spine. If anything could sober me up from the drugs I was given it's this. There's a mirror in front on me and I can't help but watch as the man preforms surgery at the top of my spine.

I feel him insert something into the open wound he just made before stitching it back up with the object in place. As he's stitching me up I start to feel strange. I feel numb it's odd. I try to shake it off but it's still there. I stand up and get closer to the mirror, examining myself I can't help but feel something is wrong.

As I look closer at myself I see my eyes visibly start to go a much darker colour. I'm so confused by all of this, what did he just place in my back?

"Shadow?" I hear Pierce ask. My body turns to face him, I didn't mean to, I didn't even tell my body to do that it just... did? "сэр" (sir). I respond to him, well not me but me.

"Kill him." He says as he's pointing to one of his agents. I nod and grab the agents gun from his waistband and shoot him in the head before he even has a chance to react.

I regain my posture and stand ready next to Pierce, not even acknowledging the dead body. What the fuck is happening? I think to myself. It feels like I'm just observing in my own body. I'm not in control, my own body won't let me do anything. Is this what it feels like being possessed?

I mean don't get me wrong I'm not complaining about killing a hydra agent but I am complaining about not being in control of what I do or say. That's when it dawns on me Bucky that's how he's going to do it.

"It worked." Pierce states with a grin.