Please don't blame me.

Part 6 - Peter.

I leave the room rather rushed, without saying a word to anybody to try and find Peter. "Y/n!" Bucky shouts after me. I don't turn around because I have to find Peter and that's my main priority right now. "Let her go, she probably needs some time." Nat reasons with him.

They all head off into the living room, probably to wait for me to come around. My first thought is to go straight to the spare room which Peter has claimed as his for when he stays here, which is fairly often.

I waltz into the room without knocking making him jump slightly. I walk up to him at a speed walk kind of pace. He backs up slightly. "Mr Stark?!" He semi shouts.

As I reach him I grab him by his shoulders and pull him close to me. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him into a tight hug. Physical touch may be the last thing I want right now, but this is something I really need to do.

"Мне жаль." (I'm sorry.) I tell him as a few tears escape my eyes. At this point Bucky and Tony have made their way into Peters room after hearing him ever so slightly.

Peter cautiously puts his hands on my back hugging me as well, I wince at the pain as his hands make contact with my back due to the recent knife wounds covering it. But choose to ignore it since this is more important. "Мне жаль." I repeat. He looks to Bucky confused. "She said she's sorry." He informs him. Peter gives him a slight nod of understanding and puts his hand on my hair, stroking it softly and I silently cry into his shoulder.

I feel guilty, I didn't mean to scare him. And the last thing I want is for the kid to be scared of me. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to use him. I need him to know this.

After what felt like forever holding Peter I decide to reluctantly let go of him. I let go and take a step back. "You okay kid?" Tony asks him as I discreetly wipe away my tears. "Yeah I'm okay. I didn't know she wasn't gonna kill me this time" Peter says with a nervous laugh.

Hearing him say this makes my heart hurt for him. I don't want him to be scared of me. I feel tears well up in my eyes and I turn to leave without saying another word. "She's okay now." I hear Tony tell the kid before walking off too.

"Y/n!" Bucky shouts down the hall after me. I quickly wipe away an escaped tear before turning around to face him. "Are you okay?" He says edging closer to me. "I'm fine" I say quietly taking a step back from him. "Why don't you go get a shower, stick some of your own clothes on and come and join us all in the living room. We all want to know that your okay." He suggests. I nod at him in response knowing it will be the quickest way for me to be alone right now.

I turn around towards my room and start heading there. I walk at a rather fast pace so it's not long before I reach my room. As I enter the room I take a sharp breath upon seeing it. I've only been away for a few months but it seems so surreal.

I shake off the tears I could feel making an appearance and strip myself rid of the hydra clothes. I turn the shower on to the hottest temperature it would go.

I look in the floor length mirror in the bathroom, once again hating the sight I see. There is substantially more scars and even fresh cuts and bruises since the last time I looked. I decide it's best if I don't look any longer and I get the the shower.

The steaming hot water feels amazing pouring down my skin. It stings when it touches my fresh, open cuts but I choose to ignore it since it's not the worst thing in the world.

I sit on the shower floor, letting the hot water pour down on me. I scrub every inch of my body until my skin is practically red raw. I let a few tears escape as I'm soaked under the water, letting go of whatever emotions I suppressed while at hydra.

I quickly pick myself back up, washing the tears away from my face and deciding that's enough wallowing for one day. I turn the shower and wrap myself up in a towel.

I find a long sleeve T-shirt and some leggings and decide that will do, I'm not trying o impress anyone I just fancy wearing comfy clothes for a change.

I've decided that before I see or socially interact with anyone there is one thing I need to do first. I grab the clothes I was wearing from hydra and make my way up to the roof.