Meet me in the Emerald Forest

Chapter 17 Lukas

"How did you put my needs first?" Clem's eyes pulled together and I could tell that she was beyond pissed at me, "You left me in the dark about who killed my parents for seven years!"

"To tell you what happened to them meant to tell you about all of this," I said, gesturing around us, "And you had already lost so much, I didn't want to take away everything you thought you knew about the world. You were still in high school, you had so much to look forward to and knowing about me would've only slowed you down."

"Do you even know what I wanted for myself before that day?" Her question took me by surprise.

"What?"

"I didn't always want to study psychology and join the FBI. My parents being murdered and their case going unsolved did that to me. You did that to me." She threw the words in my face.

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, but couldn't come up with the right response.

"I wanted to be a writer. I was already accepted into Columbia's English program. A few weeks after my parents died, the local police department brought in the FBI. That's when I first met a profiler and learned about what they did. I attended a seminar in Quantico a month later and applied to the University of Virginia by the end of the year." Clem said while leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest.

I felt my blood run cold. I had no idea that Clementine's original plans were to become a writer. I guess I never even thought about it.

"I didn't know...."

"How could you? You made all these decisions about me and my life without even talking to me while I was conscious!" She shouted.

"I just didn't want to be like all the other Alphas and werewolves when they meet their mate who's younger than them." I confessed, looking down at my hands on top of the cafe table. I couldn't bring myself to look into my mate's eyes and see all the pain I've caused her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She snapped.

"In my world, age gaps don't matter. I know middle aged men who mate with 18 year old women, and those women end up as pregnant housewives in less than a year. I never wanted that for my mate. I wanted her to be able to do and be anything she wanted to be. When I realized you were so young, all I could think about was not taking your life from you. I wanted you to go through with your plans without the pressures of a werewolf pack and the matebond."

I tried to let my raw emotions show, not something that was easy for an Alpha, but I needed her to sense my sincerity.

"You thought you could make me leave my dreams behind and become pregnant with werewolf babies before I could legally drink?" She cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Well, when you say it like that...." I muttered, feeling a little stupid, "I didn't know you back then. I didn't know how stubborn and strong you are. Now I know better and I know that I could never make you do something you didn't already want to do."

"My entire adult life could've been different if you would have just told me back then." Clem sighed, her hands falling from her chest as her anger seemed to slowly fade away.

"I can't change how I behaved back then, but I'll spend the rest of my life making up for it. I promise I'll never keep anything from you again." I reached across the table and laid my empty hand down in front of her. She looked at it but didn't move.

"I can't trust you, Lukas." She said,

"I'm not asking for your trust, not yet. I'm just asking for a chance."