Under the Streetlight - Newtmas

S i x t e e n

Newt:
Was this even real? Was I dreaming? Or did I really have Thomas curled up on my side?

It definitely didn't feel anything close to real, maybe I was dreaming, if that was the case, I'd pray to God to stay asleep forever. I ran my hands through his silky hair, stroking it as gently as I could, my thumb caressing his cheekbone in circles. I could feel his skin... I wasn't dreaming. I kissed him, and we cuddled together all night long. It was unbelievably hard to not laugh out loud at my ridiculous luck, but it wasn't necessary, because with every smile, comes a tear, at least in my life.

Firstly, the kiss was just for the game, as far as I knew, it could mean nothing, secondly, was I taking advantage of his sorrow for cuddling? Maybe he'd been weak at that moment, drunk with tiredness, and just wanted someone close, anyone. I hated how much bloody sense that made. If he really liked me as much as I did, which, let's face it, would be pretty fucking great, I had to leave America anyway, and I wasn't the type of guy who could do a one night stand without falling in love.

I was very much in love with my Tommy, I had realized that a long time ago, maybe it had dawned on me the moment I saw him under that damned streetlight, and I just didn't want to acknowledge it. Regardless of my impatience to just spit it all out, I couldn't risk giving him false hints. On top of that, he seemed awfully stuck in the past, and to have a healthy relationship, one must forget, and Thomas didn't seem ready to let it go, just yet.

I sighed and wriggled my arms and legs till I freed myself from his grip, surprisingly strong despite the fact that he was asleep. I was careful to not step into anyone's feet, or heads, and crossed the narrow attic door. According to my watch, it was currently five fifty a.m, the sun was barely out, but I couldn't sleep anymore with all those sweltering thoughts rushing in my head. I got down the stairs faintly and sat in the table, looking towards the window next to it, trying to escape my useless reflections.

I could see a pale pink melting with the blue of the night, giving the sun a clear way to make its grand appereance. The birds had already woken up, they were chirping joyfully to each other, swirling around in the sky, free from the ground's humidness. Newt had always wished to become a bird, once he died, and finally be free from the weight of his feet, have a small brain capable of keeping only the memories worth thinking back to. That would be the dream, forgetting what he didn't want to remember, as easily as it sounded, sometimes it felt like his head was running out of space, and cramming all his thoughts together in a proper mess, maybe that's why he had the feeling of a faint headache all the time.

Maybe that was the reason he couldn't sleep, he couldn't catch a break from his thoughts.

A sudden sound of keys made me jolt, I turned my head towards the front door opening and relaxed when I catched a glimpse of Thomas' mom, her hair messily tied into —what it looked like—, bun. She wore a tired look on her face, along with the nurse uniform.

"Hello miss Stilinski," I mumbled softly, almost in a whisper, she gave a jump on her spot and widened her eyes.

"You almost gave me a heart attack, kid," she sighed with a hand on her heart, afterwards she left her keys on the entrance and walked towards me, breathing loudly, she sat on my side.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, not having the energy to keep the conversation going on my own.

"What are you doing awake?" She asked, worriedly.

"I couldn't sleep," I shrugged it off, straightening my back.

"Did my Tom set you up a comfy bed? If he didn't I can do one right now on the couch," she offered, a concerned look on her face, I smiled at the mention of her son.