Stubborn and the Mutt

eleven | tears

It's after our afternoon session and I am ready to just go home and sleep. I don't know what it is that's made me so tired today. Maybe it's because of tomorrow, or maybe it's because Micah didn't annoy me today. I didn't see him the whole of today, which I guess was a bit weird considering I see him without fail every day. He's just... there. Today, he wasn't, and I can't say how I feel about that as yet.

I should be happy, I should have been. Yet not seeing him kind of... set me off. It made me happy for a while but at the same time I found myself wondering where he was. Not because I enjoy him annoying me, but because it was weird to not see him.

Nonetheless, I feel so fragile today.

I try my utmost best trying to stay awake, listening to everything Andrea is saying as she drives me back home, but I find myself zoning out quickly. One moment, I hear her and the next, I see and hear absolutely nothing, until I jolt awake up randomly. I'm just struggling to stay conscious. Any moment now, I will black out.

"Are you even listening to me? I swear, Gert. Every time. It happens every time! I am literally pouring my heart out to you and you're falling asleep on me!"

I blink my tired eyes at her, giving her a sheepish grin. "No, I'm listening."

"Oh?" She spares me a glance before looking back at the road. "What did I say?"

"Something about..." I pout, looking away and I fake trying to think about it. I don't know what she said. I was a second away from just blacking out. "Ah—"

"Ah, that's what I thought. Oh my word, Gert, seriously?" She whines.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I clear my throat, sitting up straight and turning to her a bit, as much as the seatbelt would let me. "I'm just exhausted and I don't know why. I was listening to you but then I was fighting sleep. It was a loosing battle."

"When isn't it?" She groans. "I was saying, I think I kind of found somebody that peeks my interests."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She smiles, sparing me another glance. "I kind of saw him yesterday as I was walking home. I went for a run, so yeah. I saw him and... I don't even know, it felt like it was meant to be, Gert. You have no idea."

"I am surprised. It kind of sounds like... you're in love with this boy. What does he look like, did you maybe get a name? Age?"

"Well, I did speak to him. Actually, he saw me the same time I saw him and... yeah, he approached me and we spoke for like, a whole two hours. It was magical, Gert, you will not even believe me when I say I thought of marrying him there and then. His name is Carlos. He moved here years ago from Italy, which I thought was cool. He even still has a bit of an accent." She grins, covering her mouth as she turns a corner. Meanwhile, there I am simply staring at my best friend simping over a guy. "He was just... Gert. He is my age, which I think is so cool. He isn't in uni, he's actually... like, working." She spares me another glance. "We didn't exactly get into it but yeah. We're going to see each other tomorrow since it's Valent—"

The car is silent specifically because she stops talking, eyes partially wide and lips parting before pressing firmly together. I just bat my eyelashes before looking ahead of me, feeling the slight tension rise between us.

"I... I'm sorry. I completely forgot—"

"It's okay. Don't apologise. There's no need to apologise." I forge a smile. "I will need my space tomorrow, anyway, so I think it's best you do hang with him."

Andrea sighs, and thankfully pulls up to my gate. "It's just... I always think that as the years go by and the day comes, you become a little more open to doing something outside of the usual. It hurts me to know that you just want to be alone, and then expect me to come back the day after as if everything is okay when it's not. It's not okay." She switches off her engine.