Stubborn and the Mutt

thirty five | request

Came the following week, I did not hear from any of them. Not Andrea, not Micah. Not the twins either. I didn't even hear an update from either of them. So, Monday all the way to Friday, which is today, I haven't and am yet to see either one of them.

It's weird; Andrea would have told me if something was up, and she hasn't. She hasn't even answered to one message or missed call, so there's also that.

I hope she is okay. I hope they are all okay, I guess. Maybe it's far fetched but I'm thinking it's a wolf thing, only considering they are wolves.

All the while, I've been as alone as can be. Throughout the whole day, not a word would leave my lips because I have no company. No one to laugh with, no one to joke with. No one to kiss. Alone as can be, and the first few days felt a lot more dreadful than yesterday and today. I thought of lying to my father and saying school closed for the week but, by Wednesday, I guess I kind of felt... at peace?

At peace. Yeah.

Not talking to anyone, processing thoughts on my own. Even just sitting alone during lunch and eating, watching many of the students interact with each other. It all just felt... peaceful.

I don't even know how to explain it. But for a change, keeping my own self company didn't feel uncomfortable and scary.

It gave me enough time to think about everything. Everything. I thought about my mum and sister, and how life would have probably been different had they still been alive. Where my sister would be now, and maybe my mum and her many promotions. Maybe my father would have been even more happy.

I thought about Micah, me. Us. Me being the future Luna. I realised I didn't and still don't feel all too great about the thought of it, but I also realised I wasn't too anxious and, I guess I wasn't feeling bad about it. More or less in between.

I take a sip of my water, taking heavy gulps to quench the thirst that's been sitting on my throat. My eyes lazily wander around the field of students basking in the lukewarm sun despite the light breeze passing by every few seconds. It's much more peaceful — that, or I really have come to appreciate the view of human beings just human being-ing. For a change, noticing how the sun sits in the sky, and the thinning clouds pass by at the same speed. How the grass is beginning to lose its vibrant green, and the trees look like they are beginning to lose their leaves.

I notice how, for a change, it's nice noticing the small things than complaining about life every other moment the opportunity presents itself. I value and appreciate the silence and the calmness that comes with it.

I treasure and bask in it. Not for too long, because give it a minute or so, I'm hearing my name with the familiar voice accompanying it. My hand, very close to opening this bottle in order for me to take another sip, pause as confusion builds up in me.

I turn my head, and what do I know; Banele of all people is approaching me. Hands in his hoodie pockets, jeans hugging him nicely. The dreads he has moves away from his face, so of course I'm almost caught staring into his eyes. Nonetheless, the hair at the back of my neck stand out and I turn my head away.

"Hey..." he says when he stops close by. "Can I... is anyone sitting here?"

I know he's referring to the open space on the bench. I shrug. "No."

Without another word, he settles down on the bench, clearing his throat as though to break through the rising awkwardness between us. I quickly open my bottle, then take slow sips to avoid anything.

Imagine it: we sit here for a good few minutes, neither of us say anything perhaps because we expect the other to break the silence. I don't turn to make eye contact with him, but I'm confident he looks at me now and again with expectation sitting on his chest. After a few antagonising seconds, I close my bottle and swing it lightly.