Mentally Occupied

13

Through his experience and medical expertise, he knows that Malika is not normal in some way, she has something strange, he does not mean that she was able to hear his internal apology last night, although he did not utter it, but he is aware that the medicine, no matter how safe it i. It may have other negative aspects, perhaps if he examined the medicines provided For her to realize something he is looking for and solve that puzzle for him.

Nurse Ashjan entered Malika's room and brought her medicine, so Malika stood up immediately and calmly took the medicine and returned to her bed. Ashjan noticed that Malik took her medicine without any argument. It was a strange mechanism, as if she was used to it. She did not resist, beg, or mind taking it this time. It is not her habit to be so submissive in nature .Nurse Ashjan felt very strange even she looked at her saying:

- Is that easy?

Malika smiled in bitter sarcasm and said, looking away from Ashjan:

- I realized that there is no escape.

- Are you miserable again?

- Since when have I been? unhappy?!

Ashjan glanced at Malika's features and smiled, saying:

- I've never seen someone who didn't want to heal like you do.

Malika laughed out loudly.

- I've never seen anyone who wouldn't heal me like you do.

The nurse looked at her anxiously. Then She went out. She was jogging and her heart was racing violently. She left Malika alone. Malika did not move from her place and remained in her bed all day. She started tossing and turning in the bed to the right and to the left, crouching on herself once, and spreading her arms and legs on the bed again. She tried to sleep but to no avail sleep rubbed her eyelids as if he wanted her to be awake and conscious and tormented. Malika stared at the ceiling thinking, there is something strange she feels. She lost her passion for drawing and doodling on the wall of her room.

***

Naglaa opened the door of her office, a small, cramped room that could accommodate a small wooden desk and one chair, but it had a large window overlooking the back garden of the sanatorium. Naim was begged a lot to give her even a small room as her office. It was drugs storehouse before. Through the large window was the subject of an iron net so that no one could sneak into it and steal those medicines. Nagla asked the sanatorium workers to grab it and did not tell them that it would be a room of her own. She wanted to feel that she was in a room of her own and not a detention cell. The back garden was neglected before, and she ordered to be planted with different kinds of trees and flowers, and the view from the window became breathtaking.

A tear slid down his cheek

She finished her first cigarette. She stood looking out the open window. The pomegranate tree began to blossom. Her uncle loved this fruit. The last thing he asked to eat before he died was it. He died while she was in the final grade of middle school. She had no one left and she had no one but him. Naim adopted her from that day. He did not hold back on her. He supported her until she joined the Faculty of Medicine according to his desire. Naglaa returned and sat at her desk. She put the picture back in the small drawer and closed it tightly with the key and put it in her bag. She opened the big drawer and took out a cigarette from the box and lit it. She returned with the chair to the back until it stuck to the wall. She raised her legs and put them on the desk and lit the cigarette. She blew out the smoke strongly, forming random shapes with the light entering from the window the shapes quickly dispersed. She smiled remembering Fouad and his flirtation the first time he saw her. She did not know whether he liked the blue dress or the color of her eyes. It may be both of them. She settled on this answer. Malika is the reason for his presence in the sanatorium. If Malika leaves it, will he leave the sanatorium and return to the hospital?

"Poor Malika," she frowned when this thought crossed her mind. This is how she talked to herself. She did not know why her condition worsened before the inspection committee arrived. Perhaps Malika herself does not want to leave the sanatorium. This is better so that Fouad does not leave with her.

***

Fouad can't stop thinking about Malika, but at the same time he can't stop working. While Fouad was examining the rest of the patients he continued his treatment, but his mind remained somewhat preoccupied with the conversation that took place between him and Malika. She cannot really be mentally ill. She is at the height of her consciousness, fully aware of herself and those around her. She knows her identity and preserves it. She strives a lot to be able to keep her. Everyone around you thinks you're crazy or mentally ill, they want to obliterate your mind, erase your memory, get rid of your memories, scan your identity, bringing you back as a child again, but according to their doctrine and their law, it is psychologically and mentally exhausting to challenge all of these, resist and hold on to yourself and yourself against monsters who want you to fall into the well of madness from which there is no way out.

Known heart and he realizes the extent of the sufferings that she went through and that await her, But he easily realized that the sanitarium's regulations are rigid. And deaf Pour. The sanatorium in all of its employees are doctors, pharmacists, and nurses. Everyone must adhere to it and treat it accordingly basis. Are these regulations True? Error? Harmful? useful? It doesn't matter, the important thing is Malika. It is like her in rooms they. And to draw Malika as he like on the walls, and they would not be able to repaint them again so that they become white boards on which you can draw again. And to scream as much as you want. No one here hears it, and if someone were to say it, none of them would sympathize. She cried like she's never cried before. She will not find anyone to wipe her tears or show sympathy for her.

Fouad went back his home at the end of the day. He put on a juke box quiet music player. He sat reading a book on mental illness while sipping a cup of coffee. He felt drowsy and fell into a deep sleep. It seemed that his coffee was adulterated. Coffee no longer affected him, and perhaps he was tired to the extent that if he drank whatever coffee he drank, it would not be affected. He will sleep even if he drinks ten cups of coffee every hour.

Fouad was looking for a medicine for his boring, monotonous life. He is the doctor who prescribes medicine for his patients. He needs someone to prescribe treatment for him. Fouad did not know that everything could change in his life in a blink of an eye, and that perhaps a sick person wanted to treat her, so that she would become his medicine without him knowing. Indeed, life passes, but it passes over our souls. Our souls become mere bridges of life. Those bridges collapse, and we lose with them the true meaning of life, which we do not realize, realize, or understand except in our dying moments. Life passes and ends to replay its games with a new person.

Doesn't time take care of everything? this is really. Time is capable of changing everything that is in us and everything around us. We hate what we love and tend to what we used to be alienated from. We embrace ideas that one day we saw as backward and outdated events in his life. It was stagnant and the days were passing in peace, monotony and boredom. About two weeks passed between Fouad's going and coming from the sanatorium. He did not stop trying to improve the relationship between him and Malika, in which he kind of started making progress. Taking the medication calmly Without much resistance, she returned to her strange hobby painting permanently perhaps and Wings in her room, May be This is considered a sign of progress, but its silence most of the time remains an indicator of constant threat. This is what worries Fouad and makes him suspicious of her, himself, the medicine, and the entire clinic.

***

Dreams did not come back, he did not smell her perfume, his wife lay beside him and he only smelled the smell of incense sticking to her underwear and her body, he tried to sleep and managed with great difficulty, in the morning he woke up on time as usual, he did not find his wife next to him but the smell of incense remained stuck to the pillow, he turned the pillow upside down On the heels, he put his head on her again, but he did not close his eyes, he adhered to his daily routine, he wished that his wife had warmed up and got rid of that smell that bothered him, so he would kiss her before he left, he got up from his bed plodding, he has to hurry to go to the sanatorium, nothing happens there except Under his supervision, even Nagla, although she is his partner, but he does not trust her. This does not mean that he doubts her, but he does not trust her management capabilities. He looked at the bed, dried up the sweat that he poured out from him last night, went to the bathroom, threw himself under the shower, the water flowed On his body, his feelings paid attention, a new day that he had to get rid of, he dried his body before going out, put on his underwear and pajamas that his wife had prepared for him and put in the bathroom.