Shadows of Tomorrow

Chapter 68 - Friends Long Gone

"I didn't want to fight against the Empire at first," Marr says, "But then my sister, Anastasia, found me on Odessen. They found out I was a Jedi, and I had to run, so she took me to Mandalore. I accepted my heritage for the first time there, and I married Bo-Katan. Vizma – she was named after my father. I left Mandalore for a while to find balance, and I ran into Maul."

"Maul?" Ahsoka asks, clearly unhappy. "He's still out there?"

"He doesn't seem to stay dead," he quips, smiling faintly at the memory of another lifetime when Obi-Wan said the same thing. Another lifetime of peace and light and happiness, despite the war. Those times are gone, though.

"I learned more about the Dark Side and won the Darksaber before returning to Mandalore. The Empire tracked me down not long later, and I had to leave with Vizma to keep her safe. Satine... she died there." It still hurts to talk about. They were close in many ways, and he misses her. He misses Bo and his sister and everyone back home, but he doesn't think he can go back there, knowing Satine's not there too.

Or, more importantly, if the Empire will be waiting for him there.

"You went into exile," Ahsoka deduces. "I understand that. Rex and I... well, I haven't heard from Rex in a long time now. He left the fight with a couple other clones who survived, that we were able to help. It wasn't easy for him, after the reality of the loss of the Republic sunk in."

Marr winces. "I can imagine." Of all of them, Rex was the one hurt the most. His brothers were all turned against him, blindly, and Marr can't imagine how that must feel.

"I was... discouraged at first," Ahsoka continues, "But I knew I had to fight. It's what Anakin would have wanted."

It's his memory that's driving her, Marr knows. "I see so much of him in you." It slips out before he can stop it.

"He's the one who should have been here," Ahsoka replies, maybe a little too shortly. "He should have been leading the Rebellion and fighting the Empire. Not me."

Marr doesn't mention how there's still a very, very dark part of his mind that fears Anakin is still alive, just not where they wish him to be. "Have you heard from Obi-Wan?" he asks instead.

She shakes her head. "No. Not a word. If he's out there, he's keeping a very low profile."

"Which means, probably not," Marr replies. He very much doubts Obi-Wan is physically capable of doing such a thing. It's just. Impossible.

"I wished you were with me a lot at first," she admits, "But I knew I couldn't ask that from you. It wasn't like during the Clone Wars. I was one person and had no idea where to start."

"Of course. We had an army back then. We had the Jedi. We had our masters. We had..." Theseus trails off, not daring to voice the most important thing he lost. A family. They'd had a family, one he thought nothing could take away.

The Empire took it from him. Not once, but twice.

"It became easier as time went on," she adds. "I knew how to tie it together. It wasn't hard, and I learned from Anakin. He... he knew how to do it. I don't know how. I never asked, but I took it from there."

It hurts to talk about the past like this, but Marr has to admit that he feels better about it. For years, he's been with people who never knew Anakin or Obi-Wan or Athea or the clones. They were unable understand the magnitude of who and what was lost. After so long, he can only be grateful.

"He would be proud, you know," Marr tells her. He wishes he could say the same about his own master.

"I don't know. Perhaps. I only wish he was here instead."