A Straight Guy's Guide to Being Gay

Chapter 34

It was Thanksgiving. Only two days ago did Theo and Finn patch up their relationship, and Theo's heart had been skipping beats ever since. On Wednesday, Finn asked Theo if he wanted to have dinner, and Theo had said yes. Obviously. They went to a semi-fancy restaurant, Finn ordered spaghetti with meatballs and Theo ordered a burger with fries. They laughed and joked all evening, and laughed even harder when Finn got a call from his parents (actually his brother) asking when he would be home and if he was still with the loser (Theo).

Finn was embarrassed that his brother was so rude, but Theo thought it was cute. Throughout their dinner, Theo kept wondering how the hell he managed to pull someone as amazing as Finn. Finn was telling Theo about old architectures, pieces of old and modern literature that he loved, paintings, museums he dreamed of going to, places he hoped one day to visit. Theo had never much dreamed of anything outside of California. Hell, he was even attending a college in California—yeah, he called USC up and accepted—but when he heard Finn talking about all of these amazing things, it sparked Theo's own imagination, and he too wished someday to see these great things with Finn.

Every single time Finn flashed him a small smile, Theo's stomach did a flip. And every time Finn would snatch a fry from Theo's plate, it gave him butterflies. It was crazy how each little movement that someone does could completely tear you apart. Theo thought his head was going to explode if he wasn't able to get his hands on Finn again soon, and thankfully, Finn called for the check not too long after.

Once they reached Finn's car, Theo yanked him back by the hand he was holding and kissed him right there. The air was a bit chilly, so Finn stepped closer for warmth, wrapping his arms around his neck. Theo let his kisses become slow, and soon his tongue escaped and crept into Finn's mouth. Finn might not have kissed many people, but he was damn good at it. He knew just when to bite, just where to place his perfectly crafted lips.

Theo's hands were getting greedy, pulling at Finn's jacket and belt straps, hugging him so close that he could feel Finn's heartbeat. It was the same as Theo's; fast and strong. They both had been missing something for so long, the only difference that Finn knew what was missing and Theo didn't.

When they broke apart, Theo felt guilty, and he knew why. He had never told Finn about Jules. It was the fault in all this. He got what he wanted, but he didn't say what he needed to. It was a stupid mistake, but one that Finn should know about, so when Finn tried to dive in for another kiss, Theo placed a hand on his chest.

"Finn, you need to know something," he said. His heart was beating fast for an entirely different reason now.

Finn looked confused and a little nervous. "Okay?"

"I slept with someone after we broke up." Theo saw Finn's confusion and hurt on his face and felt bad. At least he said it now, at least Finn could walk away right now without getting locked in the relationship.

"Why?" was all he asked.

Theo ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I knew that I had feelings for you and I was scared. So I did what usually gets me relaxed." It was such a bad excuse.

Finn stepped back, the air between them cold and unknowing. The street lights were on, casting large shadows onto Finn's symmetrical face.

"You slept with someone to forget about me," Finn clarified.

Theo groaned. "Shit. I know it sounds bad, but I knew it was a mistake the second it was done."

Finn just looked angry now. "Theo, you slept with someone to forget about me. How am I supposed to just live with that?" he demanded.

"I don't know. Finn, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But we weren't together and technically we never were, so I didn't do anything wrong," Theo tried to reason.